The Adventures Of Group Team
by Un Franais
Summary: Written by Princess.
1. Chapter 1

It was late in the French-English-Combo Of Doom base and some people were trying to sleep. In Group Team's bedroom, they could clearly hear Deidara and Sasori bickering about art.

"Will they ever shut up?" Butterscotch asked.

Kandy Kid shrugged.

"Why is nobody else doing anything?" Princess asked.

Princess got out of bed to see what the other members were going to do about it. The rest of Group Team mindlessly followed their leader. First, they went into Kisame and Itachi's room.

"Hey guys, is anyone going to tell Bomber Britney and Chucky to shut the fuck up?" Vomvom asked.

Itachi stared at them all with his usual blank expression. Kisame was spinning a kunai knife around his finger.

"I hope so, but not me. Last time, we sent Tobi and he got hurt. You don't want to mess with them when they're arguing about their art." Kisame replied.

Princess sighed and nodded.

Next, they decided to see Hidan and Kakuzu. They charged into their room without warning.

"Holy mother of fuck!" Hidan gasped.

After he calmed down from his semi-heart attack, he let loose at them.

"What do you little shits want!" He demanded angrily.

"You pissed at Deidara and Sasori?" Kandy Kid asked from behind Princess.

Kakuzu then wandered out of the bathroom.

"I am about to rip their tongues out of their mouths." The stitch ninja replied sternly.

Group Team all nodded in agreement. Princess then lead them all to talk to Tobi and Zetsu.

"Tobi needs to get to sleep or else he will be angry. And Tobi is a _bad _boy when he is angry." Tobi said dangerously.

Princess gulped and stepped back slightly.

"They're really annoying when they get like this." Zetsu's white half complained.

"Then I'll shut them up." Princess said heroically.

"Hime-Chan! You can't go in there! Deidara-Senpai and Sasori-Dana hurt people!" Tobi whined.

Princess dramatically turned to Tobi.

"It's the only way to shut them up." He replied.

Superkella and Indigo couldn't sleep with everyone talking, so they decided to see what the others were talking about. They had been standing behind Group Team for awhile.

"Well you're going to need a plan." Superkella said obviously.

Princess rounded everyone up into Tobi and Zetsu's room. Princess had already devised a plan in his head, but he needed to find people willing to do it.

"For this plan." Princess begun "We need a girl."

"Well you'd fit the part just fine, Hime-Chan." Indigo giggled.

Princess spun around to face her.

"Shut up!" He cried "It's my plan!"

"Ok, Hime, I'll let you bask in the limelight for a bit." Dan said tiredly "What's the plan?"

Princess explained his plan to his comrades. They all nodded in agreement.

"But who's going to be the pawn?" DoubleEi asked.

"Well, it needs to be someone strong enough to get beaten up by them, but still be able to look innocent." Butterscotch said in thought.

"Vomvom can!" Kandy Kid yelled "When we was kids, she pretended to look innocent all the time, but then, she robbeded them!"

Everyone turned to Vomvom expectantly. Vomvom stared at them all for a moment.

"No! That was the old Vomvom! Vomvom doesn't do that anymore!" She cried in protest.

"Art is fleeting, un!" Deidara's voice echoed throughout the house.

Vomvom rubbed her forehead.

"Vomvom tired." She moaned.

Princess smirked and moved next to Vomvom.

"Vomvom, if you do this, you'll get to sleep in your nice soft bed. With your nice soft blanket. And you won't need to worry about Bomber Brittany blowing a hole in the wall again." He said peacefully.

Vomvom turned to him slowly, a deadly look in her eye.

"Vomvom will do it _once. _But after that, nobody speaks of it again." She replied angrily.

Everyone nodded. Vomvom sighed and stood up.

She walked down the hallway and knocked on the door of the two bickering artists.

"What?" Sasori asked, Deidara by his side.

Vomvom faked up some tears.

"Y-you two…won't let me sleep!" She snuffled.

Sasori and Deidara were both shocked at her crying.

"Oh no! Don't cry, un" Deidara said in panick.

Vomvom cried even harder. Indigo walked past. She stopped and stared at Deidara and Sasori.

"Oh great, Bomber Brittney and Chucky made Vomvom cry. Way to go, guys." She said disdainfully.

Deidara and Sasori felt guilty for making Vomvom 'cry' so they pulled her into their room. She stopped crying.

"Good you stopped crying." Sasori said.

"Just enough to do this!" Vomvom tackled Deidara and began punching him in the face.

"Dana! Help! Vomvom attack!" Deidara cried in desperation.

"THIS IS FOR NOT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP!" Vomvom yelled.

Sasori then pulled out a needle and stabbed Vomvom in the arm, making her pass out.

When Vomvom woke up, Sasori was leaning over her.

"That's not a pretty sight to wake up to." She said blandly.

"You calling me ugly?" Sasori asked.

"Very ugly."

Sasori flicked her lightly in the head. Vomvom winced and clutched her head.

"Fuck you! I have a headache!" Vomvom moaned.

"Sorry, that would be the poisons side effects." Sasori said.

Vomvom abruptly sat up and glared at Sasori.

"You poisoned Vomvom?" She yelled angrily.

"It was just a knock out one! You're not going to die!" Sasori reassured.

Vomvom punched Sasori in the nose.

"Poison is poison." She growled.

Kisame walked past and glanced inside.

"Told you so." He smirked.


	2. The Horror Movie

Superkella, IIC, Dan, Princess, Itachi, Hidan, Kisame and Vomvom were all sitting watching 'Dracula' one day when Kandy Kid walked by.

"AHHH! Scary movie! Scary movie!" He cried in horror as he ran off.

Everyone watched him run into his room and slam the door behind him.

"What's wrong with your brother?" Itachi asked Indigo.

"You're a pussy!" Hidan yelled after Kandy Kid.

Indigo turned to her friends and attempted to look wise.

"Well, young ones-" She began.

"We're all older than you aside from Vomvom." Kisame pointed out.

Indigo glared at him. He ruined her wise-ness.

"Well, young one and old ones," She continued "Kandy Kid was traumatised by a horror film when he was just a little lad. You see, Superkella and I were having a sleep over at my place and we watched Frankenstein. Kandy Kid was being an annoying ass hole as usual, so we let him watch it, too."

Indigo bowed her head in sorrow as she got to the sad part.

"Kandy Kid was just a young chap, then. He was about 6 years old. Anyway, he watched Frankenstein and got scared shitless and wouldn't come out of his room for weeks. It was the first and last horror film he will ever see."

"What the fuck was with the 'chap' and 'lad' shit?" Hidan asked after an awkward pause.

Indigo's neck whipped up and she glared daggers at Hidan.

"Baka!" She cried "I was being wise!"

Hidan raised his eyebrow slightly and tilted his head. Indigo tilted her head too. Hidan tilted his head the other way. Indigo copied. Everyone else stared at them while they repeated this over and over.

"That does not look very wise, Indigo." Superkella said after they had done it about 7 times.

Indigo quickly stopped and continued trying to be wise.

Suddenly, Princess and Vomvom spoke up.

"We should scare Kandy Kid!" Vomvom announced.

"How?" Indigo asked enthusiastically.

Vomvom smiled and opened her mouth to talk. She stood there thinking for a second before closing her mouth and turning to Princess expectantly. Princess rolled his eyes and began an exclamation.

"We will need your body and Hidan's blood." He began while he pointed to Superkella.

It was late at night and Kandy Kid was fast asleep in his bed, thinking of candy and sugary treats. He was abruptly awoken by a blood curdling scream. He swiftly sat up in bed and looked around in horror. He then got up and headed to the main room which is where the noise came from. Lying on the floor was Superkella, her body was drenched in blood. Kandy Kid's pupils shrunk and the blood rushed from his face.

"Ah…ah…ah…" He stuttered.

Indigo then jumped out from behind the couch wearing big plastic vampire teeth and a cape.

"I vant to suck yur blood!" She yelled in the worst Dracula impersonation ever.

Kandy Kid stared at her in pure horror for a moment before he screamed in pure horror. His eyes then rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the floor. Vomvom flipped on the lights and everyone came out from their hiding places. Kandy Kid had fainted.

Everyone crowded around Kandy Kid. Vomvom gave him a brutal blow to the shin which woke him up. He looked around at everyone and cowered in fear.

"Y-you're all vampires, aren't you?" He asked quietly.

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Kandy, it was a joke." Dan announced.

"W-what? A joke?" He stuttered.

"Yup. You really are a pussy." Hidan laughed.

Kandy Kid was embarrassed. He turned red. He retreated to his room. He knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep for at least a week.


	3. Dan becomes hated

Dan had called a group meeting to order which was unusual. Princess and the rest of Group Team were curious as to what the meeting could be about, so they went to find out. At the entrance to the meeting room, Zetsu was blocking to doorway.

"French-English-Combo Of Doom and Akatsuki only." His black half spat.

Princess stared up at his half black, half white face blandly.

"I am related to the leader of the F.E.C.O.D, so let me in." He ordered.

Zetsu shook his head.

"Dan said not to or he'll spray us with weedkiller." Zetsu's white half moaned "Sorry, Princess."

Princess narrowed his eyes, but lead the others back to their hideout.

"Princess, I want to know what they're talking about in there." Kandy Kid moaned.

Princess was sitting on his bed thinking.

"Me too." He replied.

"So why don't we spy on them?" Vomvom asked as she let her head dangle off the top bunk.

"No point." Princess said "I've already got a plan."

All of Group Team eagerly gathered around to hear it.

"It's genius!" Kandy Kid cried after Princess had explained the plan.

Princess smiled to himself. For once in his life, he was being praised.

"Let's go." Vomvom announced as she headed for the door.

Everyone followed her. They went back to Zetsu.

"Let us in, Zetsu." Kandy Kid said seriously.

Zetsu shook his head.

"We already told you kids that we can't." His white half said irritably.

They all stared up at him seriously. Princess then pulled out some weedkiller. Zetsu's eyes widened.

"Let us in." Princess ordered.

Zetsu moved aside to reveal what wonders were inside the meeting room.

In the top secret meeting, everyone was screaming and fighting. That is it. There was nothing special. Nothing unusual. Nobody noticed Group Team had come in.

"This is what they've been doing?" Kandy Kid asked.

Vomvom smiled widely and ran off to start a fight with someone. Kandy Kid walked back to Group Team's hideout to indulge in sugary foods. Princess stormed up to his older brother who was yelling at Deidara and throwing his detonating clay back at him. Princess smacked Dan in the back of the head. Dan was unprepared, so he fell to the floor, landing face first on the corner of a table. Everyone in the room stopped and stared.

"…Ouch." Kisame said after a long silence.

Dan quickly jumped up and tried to make it look like it didn't hurt. He turned to Princess angrily.

"PRINCESS!" He bellowed.

Princess smiled in an annoying fashion.

"Yes kind and dearest older brother?" He asked sweetly.

Dan's left eye twitched slightly.

"This is why I didn't invite you and your stupid friends!" Dan screamed.

From the other side of the room, Vomvom's voice could be heard.

"Vomvom's not stupid!"

Ignoring that, Dan and Princess both began fighting. Dan punched Princess in the stomach and kicked him in the shin. Princess fell to the floor but he wasn't there for long. Princess suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke and reappeared behind Dan.

"Yosiyuu no jutsu!" Princess yelled as he preformed some hand signs.

He then extended his hands in front of him and attempted to melt Dan's spine. Sadly, Dan jumped out of the way. He clung to the roof with his chakara.

"Princesse! Vous auries pu me tuer!" Dan yelled in rage.

Princess smirked.

"C'était en quelque sorte du point." He replied smugly.

"Je pensais que nous étions des frères!" Dan replied, looking hurt.

"Nous sommes, mais je vous hais."

"Vous ennuyeux bâtard!" Dan cried as he lunged at Princess.

Princess attempted to jump out of the way, but Dan had such long arms due to his height that it was no use. Dan grabbed Princess and hurled him head first out the window. Princesses screams became more distant and were then followed by a thud.

"Hime-Chan!" Superkella gasped.

Vomvom jumped out the window after him to check he was ok.

"Oh mon dieu!" Vomvom yelled "He's dead!"

Everyone in the French-English-Combo Of Doom glared at Dan. They were just about to attack him, but Princess spoke.

"Fuck you, Vomvom! I'm not dead!" He screeched.

Everyone then turned their attention to their injured comrade. They all jumped out the window to help Princess, leaving Dan and the Akatsuki.

Kisame strode up to Dan and patted him on the back.

"Good going, Dan. For once, you're actually being cruel." Kisame had meant it to sound like praise, but Dan took it the wrong way.

"Do not worry, Daniel. Hime-Chan may hate you forever, but it's not as bad as one would think." Itachi reassured.

Dan took that the wrong way as well. He buried his face in his hands.

Once Princess had returned from the emergency room, he had 2 broken legs, a broken arm, 4 fractured ribs and a neck brace on. He got wheeled into the hideout by Superkella.

"Aww, hurt Hime-Chan! Kawaii!" Indigo said in a chibi voice.

Princess was smiling widely while everyone fussed over him. Kandy Kid bowed at his feet.

"Do you want anything, leader?" He asked.

"Ice cream." Princess replied.

Kandy Kid nodded and scampered off to the nearest ice cream parlour. Dan then stepped into the front room. Everyone glared at him and crowded around Princess defensively as if he was going to attack him at any minute. Dan frowned at them all.

"I'm not going to hurt him." He assured as he walked to the fridge.

Everyone continued glaring at him and shielding Princess.

"Douche bag." Kandy Kid murmured.

Dan's head whipped around. He stared Kandy Kid down.

"Etes-vous jalouse, Dan?" Princess asked in French, so the others wouldn't understand.

"Tais-toi, princesse, vous êtes une réaction excessive!" Dan shot back.

"Ahh! He said he's going to kill me!" Princess cried as he cowered in his wheelchair.

Dan stared at him in shock. He was appalled that Princess was manipulating him like that. Everyone made a more defensive barrier around Princess. Dan thundered off.

"J'espère que vous aimez être haï!" Princess yelled after him.

Dan could stand no more. He sat alone in his room and developed an evil plan.

At dinner, Princess was being fed the food by Indigo. Dan knew that Indigo was just doing it to make him feel bad, but all it did was make hi angry.

"HE CAN FEED HIMSELF!" Dan roared.

"Shut up, Giraffe-Man." Vomvom snapped.

Dan glared at them all but continued to eat his dinner.

"Vomvom thirsty." Vomvom complained "Evil Giraffe. Get me a drink." She snapped.

Dan nodded and stood up. It was all part of his plan.

"Does anyone else want a drink?" He asked dangerously.

Everyone raised their hands. Even Princess raised his non-broken arm. Dan nodded and walked into the kitchen. He got out 14 cups and a big bottle of grape juice. He filled each cup, then he pulled out a knife. He gashed his finger and let a drop of blood into each cup. He then bought them all out of the kitchen and handed them out.

Dan sat down and watched Princess drink his juice until it was all gone. Princess then winced in pain as all his broken bones healed. Dan and Princess both knew he was now fully healed.

"Are you ok, Hime-Chan?" Vomvom asked.

Princess nodded "My injuries are just hurting again." He replied.

Dan's jaw dropped.

"What injuries!" He demanded "I put my blood into all the drinks!"

At that moment, Pein spat his drink out. Everyone else went 'ewwww' and acted like he had spat in the drinks instead.

"Dan, that's gross." Superkella said disdainfully.

"Yeah, Dan. That's kind of fucked up." Hidan agreed.

"IT'S HEALING BLOOD!" Dan protested.

"You sicko!" Vomvom yelled as she threw her cup at Dan's face "Blood is blood."

"I don't feel very hungry anymore." Kandy Kid said as he left the table.

Everyone else agreed and left Dan to sit there alone.


	4. jk

Dan was furious at Princess. Not only had he made his loyal members betray him, but he was also manipulating him! Dan sat in his study thinking. He needed a way to get Princess to be healed and prove it. Dan sat there thinking for a moment, then he had an idea. He jumped out of his desk and ran to Princess's room. He opened the door to find everyone aside from Vomvom fussing over Princess. Vomvom was sitting at the other end of the room, breaking Barbie dolls. Dan walked over to Vomvom and crouched to her level. Vomvom pretended not to notice Dan

"Hey, Vomvom, do you want 100 bucks?" Dan asked.

That caught Vomvom's attention. She looked at Dan and nodded eagerly.

"Go and take those casts off of Princess." Dan whispered.

Vomvom smiled and strode over to Princess. She then grabbed the base of his casts and pulled. They all shattered and broke to reveal Princess's arms, legs and neck. They were all fine. Everyone stared at Princess, waiting for his reaction. Princess dropped to his knees and held his arms above his head.

"PRAISE JASHIN, I'M HEALED!" He yelled dramatically.

There was a silence while everyone stared. Suddenly, all of Team Akuma started clapping. Dan could not believe what was happening. His pupils shrunk and a vein popped in his head. He then imitated his brother and dropped to his knees.

"MOTHER OF FUCKING SHITTY ASS HOLES! SHIT! FUCK! BASTARD! DICK! WHORES! FUCKING STUPID ASS COW FUCKERS! SHITTY ASS HOLEISH FUCKING DOUCHE BAGS!" Dan began screaming every swear word he could think of.

Eventually, Dan ran out of English swears.

"Stupide trou de merde putain de cul! stupide merde idot coq pute meunier! Mère baise chienne du cul shity baiseur trou terre!" He bellowed.

Everyone stared at Dan in silence. In unison, everyone burst into a fit of laughter. Dan stopped screaming swear words and stared at them all in confusion.

"What's so funny…?" He asked.

Everyone was too busy laughing to answer. Finally, Indigo was able to.

"…It….was a joke…Princess was…Paying us to act like that!" She said between laughing.

Dan's eves widened slightly.

"…Joke." He repeated.

Dan jumped to his feet and punched Princess in the nose. Everyone hi 5ed Dan.

"Nice hit." Superkella pointed out.

Dan smiled. The world was normal again.


	5. The Meeting

It was about midday in the French-English-Combo Of Doom hideout and everyone was in a meeting. In this confusing group, there are several different types of meetings: FECOD only meetings, Group Team only meetings, Akatsuki only meetings, Team Akuma only meetings, FECOD and Akatsuki only meetings, Group team and Akatsuki only meetings, Team Akuma and Akatsuki only meetings, FECOD and Group team only meetings, Team Akuma and FECOD only meetings, Team Akuma and Group Team only meetings and Everyone meetings.

Today, they were having an everyone meeting. In an everyone meeting, the leaders of each organisation compromise together. Pein, Dan, Princess and Superkella all walked to the front of the room formally. They then turned to face the non-leaders. They stood there, staring at everyone, looking professional for a while before Pein spoke.

"This meeting shall be split." He announced "All Akatsuki on the left of the room, all Group Team, French-English-Combo Of Doom and Team Akuma on the right." Pein gestured to either side as he said where to go.

Everyone shuffled around and got to the correct place. Pein began talking to the Akatsuki and pointing at members occasionally. Princess, Dan and Superkella were left in charge of Vomvom, Indigo and Kandy Kid. Their groups are quite small without the Akatsuki.

"…Uhmm… We called the meeting because Pein and us all came up with a plan…" Princess began awkwardly.

There was a pause while the three leaders waited for someone to keep talking.

"Yeah… So…We need to… Partner us off with who we fight with best." Superkella continued as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"…Right… Sooo, we decided who fights best with each other based on our abilities…" Dan carried on "So the pairs are: Princess and Kandy Kid because Princess has earth chakara and Kandy Kid has fire chakara. Superkella and Indigo because you guys understand each other really well and that leaves…"

Vomvom jumped into the air and pointed an accusing finger at Dan.

"Woah! No! No! No! I am not going with Giraffe-Man!" She screeched "I demand a partner swap! Anyone! Not you! I'll go with fucking Tobi instead of you!"

Dan looked a little hurt. He quickly hid his emotions under a sceptic frown.  
>"Sorry Vomvom. Everything has been set. You're stuck with Dan." Superkella said sharply.<p>

Vomvom clenched her teeth and balled her fists. Her pupils shrunk until they were two black dots in her eyes. All the muscles in her body tensed up in rage.

Team Akuma had known Vomvom since birth, so they were all well aware of the state she was in. Dan and Princess, however, had only known Vomvom for about a year and they still did not know just how angry she can get. Team Akuma quickly evacuated the premises and hid behind a conveniently placed couch on the other side of the room. Dan and Princess watched them run, they then turned back to Vomvom and gawped. Vomvom punched her hand, signifying someone was getting the bash.

"VOMVOM ANGRY! VOMVOM SMASH!" She bellowed at the top of her lungs.

Dan and Princess could only stand and watch as Vomvom ran at them.

"Merde. Jésus-Christ putain. Mère de putes putains." Dan muttered as beads of sweat rolled down his face.

Suddenly, Princess was sent flying by a brutal kick to the jaw. Everyone watched him fly upwards and smash straight through the roof, only to continue flying. There was now a hole which was shaped like Princess embedded into the roof. Dan stared at Vomvom in shock and horror. Vomvom was still furious.

"DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKING GIRAFFE!" She cried as she leapt into the air.

Dan watched her fly far above his head and do a few flips to show off. Dan was then pounded in the head by Vomvom's hammer kick. Blood spurted out of his head and he fell to the floor. Vomvom kicked him for good measure, then raised her fist in victory. Eventually, Vomvom calmed down, Dan regained consciousness and Princess came crashing down.

The meeting then picked up from where it left off. The only difference was that Pein was instructing everyone because he said that they were the shittiest leaders ever seen and they gave any leader of anything a bad name. Sadly, Princess, Superkella and Dan all sat with the others. Pein took charge.

"I have developed a plan which is sure to capture all the jinchuuriki." Pein announced.

Kandy Kid slowly raised his hand. Pein stared at him blankly for a moment.

"What is it, Kandy Kid?" He asked dully.

"Isn't there only the 8 and 9 tails left?" He asked.

Pein nodded.

"So why do you need all the Akatsuki and us?" Kandy Kid asked "I mean, you are god right? God shouldn't need help."

Everyone stared at Kandy Kid in amazement. Peins eyebrows lowered slightly. He was mad.

"Almighty push." He muttered as he held his hands in front of him. Everyone was sent flying backwards.

"You are all hopeless." Pein said bluntly "You are not needed in this plan."

Pein then strode off to consult the rest of the Akatsuki.

The French-English-Combo Of Doom all wordlessly sat there. They had been kicked out.

"Princess!" Dan snapped.

Dan was blaming Princess.

"What!" Princess demanded.

"Je vous blâme entièrement."

Princesses eyes widened and he pulled his head backwards slightly.

"C'est quoi ce bordel!" Princess demanded.

"Vous m'avez bien ententendu, vous petite merde!" Dan yelled.

Princess suddenly attacked Dan. Everyone else cheered and yelled. They didn't care.


	6. Backstories

Group Team were all lazily lying around in their super secret hideout. Vomvom was lying on the top bunk of one of the two bunk beds playing on her PSP. Kandy Kid was on the bunk beneath her eating a packet of marshmallows. Princess was sitting in the big golden leader chair in the middle of the end wall. Princess was engrossed in thought. He wasn't thinking about anything important as such. Mainly about what everyone's back story was. Finally, Princess couldn't stand it anymore. He requested all of the French-English-Combo Of Doom to report to Group Team's hideout. Everyone piled into the room and took a seat. Superkella sat next to Vomvom on the top bunk and Indigo and Dan sat on the top bunk opposite theirs.

"I called you all here because something has been bugging me." Princess announced.

Everyone looked at him expectantly.

"I don't know any of your back stories and vice versa." He continued.

"Oi Princess! We're brother's! You know my back story!" Dan pointed out.

"But the others don't." Princess replied sharply "Thus, I request we all take turns telling the others about our life."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Superkella, why don't you go first." Princess suggested.

Superkella nodded and turned to the others. She tried to pull her best 'Back in the day' face.

"Well, Vomvom and I lived with our parents in the hidden star village." Superkella began.

Vomvom suddenly had a coughing fit.

"*cough* *cough* Shit! *cough*" She casually said.

Superkella ignored her and ploughed on with her story.

"Our house was right next to Indigo and Kandy Kid's, so naturally, we became friends. We had to do that shitty star training, but we are super strong and awesome, so we lived. Vomvom and me had a little brother as well. His name was L.T. Sadly, he was not as badass as Vomvom and me, so the training killed him. He was annoying anyway. Yeah, then we all got really strong and destroyed the village, then you guys jumped out of a barrel, then we fought Team Hebi, then Princess got kidnapped."

Everyone stared at Superkella. She had said it all in one fluid breath.

"…Ok…Indigo, what about-" Princess began.

"HOLD ON!" Vomvom cried "VOMVOM WANTS A TURN!"

Princess cowered away.  
>"okvomvomyougo." He blurted out.<p>

Vomvom smiled.

"Vomvom and Superkella lived next to Indigo and Kandy. We were training once and our brother died. I was little. Lots of people didn't like us. We didn't like the village, so it went boom." Vomvom said in a giddish, idiotic tone.

Superkella patted her on the back.

"Vomvom did good." She said in a babyish tone.

Vomvom clapped her hands like the immature idiot she was.

"Ok, Indigo, what about you?" Princess asked.

Indigo smirked.

"Kandy Kid and I both lived with just our dad. Something happened to our mum. I don't remember what. Anyway, our dad was a shitty dad. Loads of people didn't like him because he was a cheapskate and ripped everyone off. They didn't like us either. The only people that liked us were Superkella and all them. We were all friends and trained together. We planned on taking over the world since we were really little. We made Team Akuma when we were about 7…8? Whatever. Team Akuma was the shit. We were like a gang. The only problem was Kandy Kid, so I subtly trapped him under a pillar of a house I was destroying, I have no idea how, but he escaped."

Kandy Kid told his story without being asked.

"We lived in a massive mansion and dad gave me candy every day. He was fun. We played games and he helped me train. Indigo killed our dad though. She's a meanie. Then, I was sad about it and so she put a pole on me when the house was on fire. I got scared, but made some hard caramel and used it as an all body suit and got out. By the time I was out, you guys were all gone. I spent years walking around looking for you guys, then I saw Indigo one day and found you all."

Dan then burst into his story (which was by the way, absolute bullshit).

"Well, I was an underprivileged child. Princess and I both grew up on the streets of the waterfall village, barely getting by. Our father was rich, but shunned me because he was afraid that me good looks would surpass his. I grew up on the streets, by the way. We barely got enough food to live and Princess was always a pig and barely gave me anything. Then, one day, I thought we were saved when our cousin found us and offered us some help, but little did I know, she was one of the most evil and powerful shinobi ever seen! Her name was Ethel the Dark and she was told to have killed everyone she has ever met. Princess and the entire village were helpless, but I saved the day. It was an easy battle for someone as cool as me. The village praised me and my father died of a heart attack, but I ran away anyway and because Princess is a stupid dork, he came."

"BULLSHIT!" Princess yelled.

"What really happened, Hime-Chan?" Indigo asked.

"My dad was the richest guy in the village. Dan and my dad were best buddies. Dan got everything he wanted, but one day, our father died of a heart attack so Dan was put in charge of everything he owned. His first order was to expel me from the family and not give me any money. I was too young to work and nobody would donate me money, so I was stuck alone and broke. _I _grew up on the streets. I had to bin dive for food. After about 2 years of Dan being in charge of all the wealth, he was bankrupt. Dan spent 3000000 dollars on stock markets, all of which crashed. Dan was 500000 bucks in the hole, so he ran away and dragged me along with him as a sacrifice."

Everyone stared at Princess in sorrow. They then glared at Dan. Indigo pushed him from the bed. Dan landed face first on the floor.

"Heartless bastard!" Kandy Kid said coldly as he kicked Dan.

Princess smiled. He was just as much of a liar as his older brother.


	7. Indigo's Dream

Everyone in the French-English-Combo Of Doom was walking around the hideout, unsure of what to do. Suddenly, everyone exploded into flames. They all screamed in agony and eventually burned until they were just piles of ash.

"…Well fuck." Princess said bluntly.

"How are we talking if we are piles of ash?" Indigo asked.

"Indigo are you a natural idiot?" Vomvom asked in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Indigo asked.

"You're fucking dreaming. Obviously this shit would never happen." Superkella pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Indigo said in realisation.

Suddenly, Indigo woke up. She sat motionless on her bed for a second or so.

"…What the fuck?" She asked herself.


	8. The super spectacular specticle

It was about 5:00 on a Saturday morning in the hideout and Tobi decided to wake everyone up. He ran around the hideout, banging a pot with a wooden spoon. It didn't take long for Sasori and Deidara to take action. Sasori threw poison darts at him and Deidara sent out his clay birds. There was the sound of an explosion, Tobi screaming, Deidara and Sasori laughing and speaking in hushed voices, the creak of a door closing then there was silence.

"…What did Chucky and Bomber Barbie do to Tobi…?" Indigo asked loudly so everyone could hear.

"He is in the river now." Sasori replied simply.

Everyone settled into bed and tried to sleep again. Nobody could sleep. It was too early in the morning. The first person to summon up the energy to get out of bed was Giraffe-Man-Dan. He lazily stood up and wandered around the hideout. Zetsu got up next.

"What should we have for breakfast?" Zetsu's white half asked.

"Let's see what's in the fridge." His black half replied tiredly.

Dan walked past him and saluted.

"Hi Zetsu." He said casually.

"Morning, Giraffe-Man." Zetsu's black half replied.

Dan's eye twitched slightly, but he continued walking. Zetsu cackled with laughter and strode off in the other direction.

Dan was still the only one up, but everyone was awake.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT THE SHIT!" Indigo's voice echoed through the hideout.

Soon after, other voices accompanied hers.

"WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK!" Superkella yelled.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Hidan's voice added.

That got everyone up. In a split second, the hallway was packed and everyone was making their way to Superkella and Indigo's room. Dan followed enthusiastically. Dan ended up at the back of the crowd and couldn't see a thing. Princess came running in just after Dan.

"Arigato Dan!" He yelled as he clambered up his back and onto his shoulders.

"Get the fuck off me!" Dan yelled as he began shaking his head.

Princess dug his fingers into Dan's face for support.

"Careful, Dan! Someone could get hurt!" He said sarcastically.

"You little shit!" Dan yelled as he grabbed his brother by the neck.

"WOAH! I didn't know legs could bend that way!" Kandy Kid's voice boomed.

"Baka! They can't!" Vomvom's voice followed.

"…Oh…AWESOME!"

Dan let go of Princess and just left him there. He then tried to force his way through the crowd.

"Move it, dickheads!" He ordered as he shoved people aside.

He then came to Itachi. He grabbed his shoulders and moved him aside, then continued forward.

"Excuse me, Dan." Itachi said formally.

"Yo." Dan replied as he spun around to face him, Princess still on his head.

Princess was no idiot, so he closed his eyes. Dan however, was a dumbass so he made direct eye contact. Dan's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed to the floor. Nobody cared or bothered to notice. Princess jumped off of his passed out older brother and continued through the crowd. Princess, being a lot shorter than Dan found it a lot harder to get through. He got punched accidentally in the face a few times and people were constantly walking into him. Eventually Princess got to the front of the crowd he gasped at the sight he saw. He could tell why everyone was crowded around. Lying dead on the floor was a shinobi who gave all evil shinobi a bad name. He had big round glasses and silver hair done up in a ponytail in the back. His eyes lifelessly stared forward and his body was bent and twisted.

"…Oh my god…" Princess forced out.

"Who put him here?" Superkella asked.

Nobody answered. Princess turned to face the girl next to him. She had messy brown hair and eyes to match. She had an evil grin spread across her face and her eyes showed a glint of insanity. Princess tapped her on the shoulder. She quickly stopped smiling and turned to face him.

"Yeah?" She asked.

She sounded bored, but deep down inside, she was overjoyed that everyone liked her present.

"Who put Kabuto there?" Princess asked bluntly.

Vomvom shrugged.

"Dunno." She replied.

Vomvom looked away from Princess. The smile instantly returned to her face. Nobody quite understood Vomvom. Everyone thought she was sort of putting the whole 'I will kill anything that moves' act on, but in reality, she was just mentally unwell.


	9. The Horrobile Horror

Everyone was running around the French-English-Combo Of Doom hideout in a hurry. They were all gathering up their things. It was nearing an awful day and the hideout must be clean for it. Dan and Princess were not the only living members of their family. There was one other Chevalier who still lived. There was bad blood between Dan and this family member. In fact, they loathed each other with all their being. Dan and Princess had always been worse off than her and this time, they wanted to prove they were better.

"Superkella! Indigo! You are women! Clean this place up good!" Dan ordered as he sat on the couch and relaxed.

Superkella and Indigo stopped cleaning and glared at Dan.

"Dan. Never insult ninja women." Kisame stated.

"Why? Bitches love cleaning." Dan replied half heartedly.

Superkella then jumped at Dan with her sword at the ready and Indigo shot a jet of ice from her hands. Dan squealed in horror and jumped away. Indigo and Superkella both chased him around the hideout. Hidan was bored, so he decided to join in. He grabbed his scythe and joined the chase.

Princess needed the hideout to be clean. He didn't give a fuck about Dan and his self respect, but _he needed _to look good for their guest.

"Vomvom, Kandy Kid." He ordered.  
>"Yes sir!" Kandy Kid responded as he saluted.<p>

"Yo." Vomvom responded.

"Clean this room and I'll give you 5 bucks." Princess said temptingly.

Vomvom and Kandy Kid smiled. They both faced each other and nodded. They then started to clean. Everyone was just getting into the cleaning spirit when Itachi made an announcement.

"There is someone standing outside." He said dully.

"Yeah and she looks like a slut, un!" Deidara added.

Everyone stopped what they were doing. Dan and Princess both began pulling at their hair.

"ETTTHHELLLLL!" They both cried in horror.

Everyone else stared at them in amusement.

"Hey, who is Ethel anyway?" Tobi asked.

"Baka!" Dan yelled "She is our cousin and she is capable of killing us all so don't fuck anything up."

Vomvom's voice came from the other room, steadily getting louder.

"Daaann. Someone broke your expensive vase thing!...It wasn't me though…" She yelled.

Dan tried not to loose it and have a breakdown.

"Princess, get the door." He said calmly.

Princess muttered something about giraffes not being able to get doors because of their hoofs as he headed for the boulder. Door. Boulder-Door?

Everyone was waiting expectantly as Princess opened the door. Outside stood a girl with red hair that looked like someone had run over it, set it on fire, attempted to fix it with bubble gum and tried to get the bubble gum out with a saw. It was cut awfully in short. She had a pink shirt that could hardly be called a shirt on. It ended just below her chest and the buttons were done up as little as possible. She had black shorts that may as well have been underwear and big clunky brown boots. Her eyes were bright green and her pupils were grey instead of black. She had her hand on her hip and looked very impatient.

"Hey, answer the door quicker next time you fucking idiots." She ordered sharply.

"Gomen." Princess apologised as he bowed.

Ethel grabbed his head and shoved him aside. She then walked up to Dan and inspected him.

"Hello, Daniel. Still a giant I see." She observed.  
>Dan glared down at her.<p>

"Hello, Ethel. Still working in the whore house?" He replied coldly.

Ethel instantly dropped the 'I'm better than you' act.

"Fuck you shithead!" She yelled impatiently.

"Very original comeback."

"Very original name."

"Better than yours."

"Like hell it is."

Dan then turned to his fellows.

"Guys, which name is better: Ethel or Dan?" He asked.

"Dan." Everyone agreed in unison.

Dan smirked down at Ethel. Ethel stood there wordless. She was thinking of an insult.

"Ooh. Do you want some ice for that burn?" Superkella mocked.

Ethel whipped around to face her. She stared at her up and down as if she was inspecting her.

"…commoner." She stated.

She ignored Superkella's protests and turned to Dan.

"Did you really have to resort to recruiting filthy commoners for this pathetic excuse for a group?" She asked in disgust.

"…filthy commoner…?" Vomvom echoed.

Ethel spun around to face her. When she saw how young Vomvom was, she snorted.

"Stay out of this kiddo. It's big kid talk." She said crudely.

"…kiddo…" Vomvom echoed again.

Ethel marched over to Vomvom and grabbed her cheeks with her hand.

"Hey, dumbass. Can you actually talk or are you just a retard?" She asked sceptically.

"…RETARD!" Vomvom demanded.

She had finally snapped. Vomvom's arm suddenly snapped up and she gripped Ethel's arm firmly.

"Go Vomvom!" Superkella cheered.

Vomvom looked directly into Ethel's eyes.

"Skank." She whispered as her grip tightened on Ethel's arm.

Ethel slowly began to crumple to the floor. Vomvom released her grip and grinned at her expense.

Ethel's fist suddenly came flying up and she punched Vomvom in the jaw. Vomvom went flying backwards and smashed into the far wall.  
>"Vomvom!" Superkella cried in worry.<p>

Superkella ran to Vomvom's aid. Vomvom had been knocked out. Superkella stared at Ethel in outrage.

"ONLY I CAN K.O VOMVOM!" She screeched.

"Ooh. Is the commoner angry?" She taunted "Was that weakling your sister?"

Superkella was about to attack Ethel, but everyone else had beaten her to it. Indigo shot jets of ice at her face, Princess slid on his stomach and tried to melt her shins, Dan threw kunai knifes and Kandy Kid summoned hundreds of tiny gummy bears to attack her. Everyone held Ethel in place and left the finishing blow to Superkella. Superkella came sprinting up and pulled out her sword. She smacked the blade directly between Ethel's eyes. Superkella smiled and watched the light drain from her pupils. Suddenly, she disappeared in a puff of smoke. Everyone looked around in confusion.

"THERE'S SOMEONE'S PROSTITUTE IN THE BATHROOM AGAIN!" Zetsu yelled.

"Shut up, plant man!" Ethel's voice followed.

Everyone ran to the bathroom. Princess was the one to attack this time. He grabbed Ethel's neck and tried to knee her in the stomach, but once again, Ethel disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"FIND HER!" Dan ordered gruffly.

Everyone split up and searched the hideout as best as they could. Nobody found any trace of Ethel. They all headed back into the main room to find Pein holding Ethel's body up for everyone to see.

"Is this woman yours?" He asked seriously.

"Yeah, she is." Dan said awkwardly as he collected Ethel off of Pein.

Sasori just so happened to be walking past at that moment and overheard that.

"Dan. Do you like ho's?" He asked in confusion.

Dan instantly began to blush, sweat and stutter.

"N-no, she's not a whore or anything…well, she probably is, but she's my cousin." He stammered.

Sasori stared for a moment, then he pointed a wooden finger at Dan sceptically.

"Say no to incest." He said shamefully.

Sasori and Pein then walked off to go about their jobs.

"So what're we going to do with Ethel's body?" Princess asked enthusiastically.

Dan smirked. He turned to his little brother.

"Go and get Hidan." He said sweetly.

Princess figured it was for a good cause and scurried off to find the immortal man. He returned a few minutes later pretty much dragging Hidan.

"Hey Hidan. Where is the nearest brothel?" Dan asked.

Hidan stared at him in confusion.

"Bro…thel?" He asked slowly.

Indigo jumped in to help Dan.

"He wants you to tell him where the slut shack is." She said helpfully.

"Oh." Hidan said in realisation "Go out the back and through the forest. It's the shittiest building there."

They all nodded and followed his directions. Soon enough, they reached the brothel. Dan dumped Ethel outside.

"Gimmie a kunai?" He asked Kandy Kid.

Kandy reluctantly handed over his last knife. Dan snatched it away and bent over Ethel's body. When he got up, everyone could see what he had done. On Ethel's exposed torso, he had cut in the words 'Free Slut' so that everyone could see. Dan cackled with laughter and lead the others home again.


	10. Punch a Ginger Day

Today was a very important day. In fact, it may be the day every member of the F.E.C.O.D and Group Team die. It was November 20th. November 20th is international punch a ginger day. Pein is ginger. It was a challenge. Whoever could punch Pein and get away with it wins. Their team is declared winner and praised until November 25th. But you had to punch him hard. Enough for him to feel it and maybe get a bruise…If it's possible for Pein to get a bruise. Whatever.

Princess made sure to wake Group Team up extra early that morning. Kandy Kid was fine with it, but Vomvom kicked him between the legs for waking her up. After Princess had recovered, he quietly lead them all up to Pein and Konan's study. Princess quietly pushed the door open. Inside, there were two wooden desks directly next to each other which had a massive, full bookshelf behind them. On the very left of the room, there was a door.

"That must be their bedroom." Princess whispered as he pointed to the door.

Princess and Kandy Kid began tip toeing over, trying to make as little noise as possible. Vomvom hated being quiet, so she quit. She charged over to the door and pounded on it with her fist.

"…Go away." Konan yelled tiredly.

"Vomvom want to talk to Lead- umm…Pein." Vomvom answered.

Konan finally mustered up the energy to get the door. She looked down at Group Team displeased. She didn't like them.

"Pein never sleeps. And if he did, he wouldn't sleep here." She said bitterly.

"So where is Pein?" Kandy Kid asked hopefully.

"He's in the rain village. Why can't you just ask that tall kid? He was here about an hour ago." Konan then proceeded to shut the door on them all.

Dan had already been and gone.

"Where is he?" Princess asked.

Princess ran up to the window desperately and looked around the forest. He immediately relaxed when he saw the top of Dan's head poking out from the trees. He hadn't gone far.

"Jeez Dan is an idiot." Princess observed.

Kandy Kid snorted.

"Yeah." He agreed.

Kandy Kid then turned around and walked into Pein's desk. He fell to the floor and knocked over all the papers and pens. Vomvom burst out laughing. Konan's door slowly opened a crack and 6 bits of paper flew out. One covered each of their mouths. One gave each of them a paper cut.

"Mmf! Hummph mummf munmm hmm." Princess said as he tried to pull the paper from his face.

"Humph a murmf. Mumm fumf muummmf himmmf." Vomvom replied coldly.

"Wmm a oo Samffm?" Kandy Kid asked.

Eventually Princess melted the paper. He then grabbed Kandy Kid and Vomvom's hands in his. Vomvom stared at his hand then at his face. She gave him a mental warning. Kandy Kid was too stupid and innocent to notice anything. Princess closed his eyes and focused his chakara. Suddenly, they were surrounded by a cloud of smoke. Once the smoke cleared, they were not in the study anymore. It was raining heavily and every single building was constructed from metal pipes. Kandy Kid shuffled closer to Princess in fear. Vomvom marched ahead happily.

"D-do you know where Pein is?" Kandy Kid asked Vomvom.

Vomvom turned to face him happily. She put her hands on her hips and struck a leader-ish pose.

"I have no fucking idea." She said proudly.

Princess face palmed.

"He is in the tallest building." He muttered.

"Actually, I do know. He is in…THAT building!" Vomvom said as she pointed to a tall building.

"No Vomvom. It's that one." Princess corrected as he pointed to another one.

Vomvom casually adjusted her finger so it was pointing at Princess's building.

"That's the one I was pointing to." She said in confusion.

Princess decided to ignore Vomvom and jumped up onto the roof of the nearest building. The others followed. They all jumped from building to building and spider climbed up walls until they finally reached the tallest one in the city.

"Let's go." Kandy Kid announced as he and Vomvom began walking up the wall.

Princess followed.

The top floor of the massive building had a balcony with a metal fence around it. It also had gargoyles on the corners and it was very creepy looking. Once they finally reached Pein's room, the cautiously looked over the balcony.

"Almighty pu- " Pein began.

Princess quickly jumped onto the balcony.

"Leader! It's only us!" He cried as he raised his hands.

Vomvom and Kandy Kid both waved. Pein lowered his arms. He then went inside. Group Team followed him. It was very dark inside, but they could just see a red haired man sitting in a weird machine which had 6 capsules attached to the sides. Pein lay down in one and the door closed.

"…umm…Pein?" Vomvom asked as she tapped the glass.

"Don't do that." The red haired man replied.

Vomvom swiftly turned to face him. The red haired man stared straight ahead.

"Why not? You're not my mother." She spat.

The red haired man turned to face her.

"No, but I am the leader of Akatsuki."

"No you're not. Pein is." Kandy Kid said in confusion.

"I am Pein."

"No you're not. That's Pein." Kandy Kid replied as he pointed to the capsule fuuma Pein was held in.

"I control him."

"Set Pein free!"

"He is dead."

"Why did you kill Pein?"

"He was already dead."

"Well someone had to kill him."

"But it wasn't me."

"Elaborate?" Princess asked.

The red haired man looked forward dramatically. He then told them his life story. I won't bore you with it, but now everyone in Group Team knows everything about Pein.

Group Team were all deeply interested in Nagato's life now.

"Woah. That was awesome!" Vomvom observed "You really killed those ninja guys without knowing it?"

Nagato nodded. Princess awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"C-can we look at fuuma Pein?" He asked.

Nagato said nothing, but the capsule opened and Pein stepped out. Princess and the others walked up to him and stared.

"I always wondered why he had a gazillion peircings." Kandy Kid said.

Vomvom and Kandy Kid both observed Pein and Princess talked to Nagato. Princess explained everything about punch a ginger day and about how they HAD to beat Dan in such a way, Nagato said he would allow it once. Princess thanked him over and over. He then went down to Fuuma Pein. Princess gulped as Pein was quite intimidating. Princess punched Pein in the right arm with all his strength. Pein took a step to the left to steady himself.

"If that is all you require, please leave." Nagato said formally.

Just as Group Team were all leaving, Princess told Nagato that if a really tall, ugly, ungrateful guy came, he should push him out the window.

The following 5 days were the best 5 days Group Team had ever had. Their older siblings waited on them hand and foot but they didn't like it. Group Team rejoiced and were happy about that occasion for about a month. The message in this chapter is: GROUP TEAM IS BETTER THAN THE F.E.C.O.D!

**Random thing at the end ftw**

It was a beautiful day. A Saturday to be exact. The sun was high in the sky and birds were chirping happily in the treetops. The French-English Combo Of Doom members couldn't help but to be slightly happier than usual. They all went outside and frolicked through the forest, destroying trees and hurting innocent woodland creatures as they went.

"Team Akuma is the shit! We are fucking awesome! Fuck all yous!" Indigo and Kandy Kid chanted merrily.

"The F.E.C.O.D is so fucking awesome! We will rule the world so go die in a hole!" Dan also joined in the singing craze.

"Group Team pwns everyone! Fuck all you with a motherfucking cactus! If you join Group Team, you get a free cookie!" Princess yelled over the others.

Vomvom tapped Princess on the shoulder. Princess stopped singing awfully and turned to face her.

"Oui?" Princess asked.

Vomvom stared at him seriously. Princess's smile faded.

"I'm leaving Group Team." Vomvom said plainly.

Princess immediately felt depressed. If Vomvom left, he would just have the idiot Kandy Kid left and Princess couldn't live with that.

"Why?" He asked sadly.

Vomvom completely ignored him. She turned around and began to follow her friends. After Vomvom had taken three steps, she turned to face Princess again, a smile plastered across her face.

"Ok, I want to join Group Team again, now gimmie a cookie." She said in a bubbly tone.

Princess stared at Vomvom. Vomvom stared back and awaited her cookie. Princess reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cookies. He ripped it open and handed one to Vomvom.

"Oh boy! Chocolate chip! Vomvom's favourite!" Vomvom cried giddishly.

Vomvom took a massive bite out of the biscuit. She instantly spat it out and began spluttering. She then glared at the chocolate chip cookie.

"Raisins." She said in disgust.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUNNN


	11. Ethel Reaturns

It was a glorious day in the French-English-Combo Of Doom hideout. Birds were singing and being all happy and shit. Bee's were buzzing and flowers were flowering. Superkella woke up and greeted the day with very little enthusiasm. She stretched and made her way into the kitchen. In the kitchen, Dan was making his breakfast. He was cooking himself some cup ramen in the microwave. His face was pressed up against the glass as he watched the plastic container rotate. Superkella ignored him and got out some bread and jam.

"Don't do that. You'll get radiation." Superkella warned without looking up from her food.

Dan didn't move at all. He just stared at the cup.

"Shut up. I can so what I want. I'm the leader." He taunted.

That annoyed Superkella. Her neck snapped upwards and she turned to face Dan.

"Daniel, you may have been bought to believe you are the leader, but everyone follows me. I am the leader." Superkella said smugly.

"Well then why are _you _a member of _my _group?" Dan asked sceptically.

"Because if I do recall, you got on your knees and begged us to join forces with you."

"Well…yeah…but you still joined."

"Out of pity."

"Bullshit. You joined because you are all madly in love with me."

"Oh yes Dan. That must be it." Superkella said sarcastically as she left the room.

It took Dan several minutes to catch on. Once he did, he abandoned his food and went after Superkella. Eventually he found her talking to Zetsu in the garden.

"Hey, Superkella!" Dan yelled angrily.

Superkella turned around. When she saw it was Dan, she smiled very cheesily.

"Why hello Dan! Fancy seeing you here!" She said gleefully.

"Fuck you." Dan scolded.

Superkella pulled her best offended face which looked more like an impression of a goldfish.

"Daniel Chevalier! I will not tolerate such language!" She said in a motherly tone.

"Bitch shut up."

"Very original Dan. Well done."

"I said shut up!"

"You don't say!"

"Stop it you ass hole!"

"Say please."

"Fuck you!"

"That's not please."

"No shit."

"Dan, swearing shows a lack of vocabulary."

Dan raised his finger and opened his mouth to talk but he stopped himself. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Suddenly, he unleashed a storm of insults. He made sure they were all English so Superkella could understand them fully. Once he was finished, Superkella spoke in the most formal tone she could muster.

"Daniel, that was some very colourful language you used there. I do not think that is a very appropriate way to speak to your daughter."

At the word 'daughter' Dan got a glint in his eye and a smile spread across his face. All the anger fled his body. Dan was overjoyed.

"D-daughter!" He asked happily.

Superkella nodded. She was trying not to burst out laughing. Suddenly, a flash came from the forest. It caught Dan and Superkella's attention. They both looked over to where it came from to see none other than Ethel squatting in some shrubs with a camera.

"What the fuck is she doing?" Superkella asked.

She was kind of weirded out. Dan tilted his head to the right.

"I…I don't know…" He replied.

Ethel took another photo. Suddenly, they both clicked. She was taking photos of them talking and she was going to give them some perverted meaning.

Superkella screamed in outrage and yanked out her sword. She then jumped in the air, did a summersault and landed behind Ethel. She struck at Ethel's head, but she deflected it with her boot and leapt away. The battle had begun. Dan then tried to slide tackle her but Ethel jumped away once again. Suddenly, a jet of ice came out of nowhere. Ethel narrowly avoided it and glanced over to Indigo who had just come out of the hideout. While Ethel was distracted, Group Team came to help. The were on the top story of the hideout and had a big openable window. The all jumped out and landed dramatically. Princess began to heat up his hands, Kandy Kid summoned a Kandy Kane which could also be used as a scythe of sorts and Vomvom clenched her fists. Kandy Kid ran to the left and Vomvom ran to the right. Princess stayed where he was. Everyone had formed a circle around Ethel. The Akatsuki saw a battle was going on, so they all ran to help. Ethel was surrounded. All at once, she was hit by ice, a scythe, a puppet, some clay, a sammehada, a kandy kane, a fist, a sword, a shield, melting hands, sharingan, someone tried to eat her left arm, she got a paper cut, she got impaled with tentacles, almighty pushed and kneed in the back. Ethel spat out some blood and fell to the floor. She grabbed her ribs and coughed. Slowly, her coughs turned into laughter.

"Attack." She ordered.

Out of the forest, the English-French-Combo Of Misfortune jumped out and grabbed their alter ego with their one weakness. The Akatsuki attacked The French-English-Combo Of Misfortune, but they were relevantly smart and had alerted Konoha that they were there so instead of helping the F.E.C.O.D and Group Team, they had to kill ANBU members.

Ethel had everyone rendered powerless. She observed everyone and decided who would be the best hostage. Eventually, she had decided. She pointed at Superkella and smiled widely.

"Take this girl. Her stupid little friends are useless without her." She said darkly.

Fragalistic nodded and jumped high into the sky, still holding Superkella.

"Hey! I'm a Leader as well!" Princess and Dan both cried in unison.

Ethel pointed at Princess and smirked.

"Then you can join her." She said wickedly.

Prince did the same thing as Fragalistic. Dan waited to be kidnapped next. Ethel turned and pointed to him.

"You. You are a useless leader and if anything will just slow everyone down, so you stay." She chuckled.

Ethel then bounded into the treetops and far away.

"Hey! Ethel!" Dan yelled after her, but it was no use.

The remaining members alter ego's smacked them on the head to knock them out, then left them there. The Akatsuki finally killed all the ANBU members, but it was too late to save Superkella and Princess.

* * *

><p>DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNN! D: Oh noes! What will happen to the two greatest leaders!<p> 


	12. Random Christmas Special IN APRIL

It was a cold winter day in the F.E.C.O.D hideout. Snow fell outside and coated the ground and trees with white powder. Vomvom, Kandy Kid and Princess rushed outside to frolic in the snow, but the older members had better things to do. They put on their warmest clothes and made hot cocoa. They then sat in front of the T.V and watched the Christmas special. The Akatsuki were all out on missions, but it made no difference, they were barely in the story anyway. However to all the members who have lived with the Akatsuki almost for a whole year now, it seemed very quiet.

Just outside, the younger members were playing, having snowball wars and making snow men. Princess had fun using jutsu to melt the snow and Vomvom made snowmen only to pummel them to the ground. Kandy Kid had moved away from those two to work in peace. He began to sculpt a snow masterpiece. It was a big Christmas Cookie that towered high into the sky, Kandy Kid smiled and nodded at his amazing work. He didn't notice Vomvom and Princess had moved next to him.

"…Vomvom smash?" Vomvom asked as she tilted her head.

Kandy Kid jumped in fright, then turned to face his comrades. He raised his hands defensively.

"Don't touch it! It's mine!" He cried defensively.

Vomvom threw a tantrum and moped. She folder her arms across her chest and marched back inside. Princess decided to follow as he hates Kandy Kid and never EVER wanted to be left alone with him. Kandy Kid stayed out in the snow and began his second sculpture.

Inside the hideout, everyone was crammed in front of the T.V. The muppets Christmas special was the best thing on.

"How budget is this! Those are obviously fake!" Dan complained.

Indigo elbowed him in the ribs.

"You dumbass! That's the point!" She yelled.

Dan scratched his head in confusion. He then jabbed Superkella in the arm for no apparent reason.

"Ow! What the fuck was that for!" Superkella demanded.

Dan shrugged his shoulders and widened his eyes. He stared at Superkella, unblinking. Superkella ignored him and turned back to the T.V but she could feel Dan's eyes staring at her. Superkella shifted away from him slightly but it was no good, Dan's eyes were still on her. Superkella had enough, she decided to stare back. She turned to face Dan with the most mortifying expression ever seen on any humans face.

"Stop it." She warned in a scary tone.

Dan stopped staring and broke into a cold sweat.

"Sure thing, no problem." He blurted out.

Superkella then turned back to the T.V.

Outside the hideout, Kandy Kid's work was complete. Now stood two statues both obviously of sugary foods. His newest work was a Candy Cane much bigger than his last. He smiled to himself and was just about to make yet another, but Dan had noticed it and made everyone come and see. They all crowded around and gazed on in awe. They then turned to face the idiot responsible.

"You did this?" Dan asked as he pointed to the amazing snow sculptures.

Kandy Kid nodded dully and gathered more snow.

"But…that's impossible." Indigo said in confusion "An idiot can't do this…"

Superkella suddenly enhanced 'smart mode'.

"Actually, Indigo, usually someone who does bad academically will do brilliantly musically or artistically." She said in a mature tone.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her. She pushed some invisible glasses up her nose. Suddenly, the silence was broken.

"Vomvom needs to smash! Vomvom smash!" Vomvom bellowed from the roof of the hideout.

Vomvom's pupils had shrunk and her eyes were fixed upon something. Everyone followed her gaze to Kandy Kid's snow towers.

"Vomvom bored! Vomvom smaaaaash!" Vomvom screamed as she dove into the air.

Kandy Kid dropped the snow he had been collecting and rushed to his works of art. The other's just stared in awe. Vomvom held her fist in front of her superman style as she headed for the giant cookie. Some snow flew out of the spot where Vomvom landed. There was a long pause before Vomvom burst from the middle of the cookie.

"Hell yeah!" She cried as she did the peace sign with both hands. Vomvom then proceeded to heave herself out of the snow and walk inside. There was a short defult before the snow all crashed to the floor. The avalanche hit the Kandy Kane as well and made an even bigger avalanche.

"GET INSIIIIIIIDDDEEE!" Dan yelled as he shoved the others into harms way in order to save himself.

Luckily, everyone got inside in time, but Dan yelling had caused even more snow to fall. All of the fallen snow piled up against the hideout from all angles. Everyone rushed around trying to find a way out, but it was no use. They were snowed in.

"FUCK!" Princess yelled in anger.

"Agreed." Kandy Kid's voice came from some other part of the house.

"Dan! There's something you should know about Team Akuma…" Superkella began.

"What?" Dan asked.

"Well…they all have…issues…with being closed in somewhere with no way out…" Superkella continued.

At that moment, Indigo dashed past yelling 'The Grinch is coming for us!'. Dan watched her pass, then turned to Superkella.

"What do you mean 'issues'?" He asked dangerously.

"They all go batshit insane aside from me."

Dan's jaw dropped.

"Couldn't you have said something earlier!" He demanded.

Superkella instantly began defending herself.

"Hey, I didn't pretend I couldn't speak English for ages!"

"That…that was different!"

"How!"

"I DON'T GO BATSHIT INSANE!"

"Neither do I!"

"But you failed to mention that 3 out of 4 of you do!"

"Because I didn't think it mattered!"

"Well it does!"

At that moment, Kandy Kid came crashing through the roof from the second floor. He landed about 2 metres away from Dan and Superkella. His eyes had a creepy glint in them and his hair was abnormally spiky.

"FIRE!" He suddenly yelled "THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"

Kandy kid then proceeded to run up to Dan and attempt to strangle him. Vomvom saw violence was going on, so she rushed to join Kandy Kid. Superkella just watched. Dan's face turned blue and his eyes began popping out of their sockets. It was only then that Superkella decided to jump in.

"There's a dead dog in the other room." She said bluntly.

Vomvom and Kandy Kid both stopped killing Dan and looked each other directly in the eye.

"Let's poke it with a stick!" They both yelled in unison.

They then both abandoned Dan and ran off.

Dan and Princess were both snowed in with 3 crazy people and one sane person who was going to do jack shit about it. Horray!


	13. The Rescue

Indigo, Vomvom, Kandy Kid and Dan all finally woke up.

"Fuck a duck! Superkella's gone!" Indigo yelled in distress.

"Onee-Chan!" Vomvom said in sorrow.

Pein strode over to Dan and muttered in his ear. Dan's eyes filled with rage.

"What do you mean bottom of your priorities list!" He growled.

"I mean neither of them are any use to me. I only let you all join because I thought your abilities would be useful, but I was proven wrong. I'm not a babysitter Dan. You and your friends have to take care of yourselves. We do not save fellow members here." Pein replied slowly so Dan could comprehend.

Pein and the rest of the Akatsuki then abandoned the three and left. Indigo turned to Vomvom, tears welling up in her eyes.

"What do you think that cow is doing to them?" She asked in fear.

"Vomvom doesn't want to think about it." Vomvom replied.

In Ethel's secret base, she had Superkella and Princess both under appropriate restraints. She had turned all the lights off except for the one hovering above them for an extra scary mood.

"You know, you can walk out of here home free." She began.

"how?" Superkella asked.

"Just admit that you are madly in love with Dan and Vomvom."

"Oh hell no! I still have my pride!" Princess yelled.

Ethel stared at him and raised an eyebrow.

"You are a 13 year old boy and you run around in a dress." She pointed out.

"Well yeah, my name is Princess, I've gotta go with it." Princess said as if it was obvious.

"Whatever. If you just admit your love for Vomvom and Dan, I will let you go." Ethel said crudely.

Princess and Superkella both shook their heads. Ethel leaned extremely close to Superkella's face.

"Then I guess you'll be staying here for awhile." She whispered.

As if on queue, Prince pushed a T.V in front of them. It was on pause and the title 'Naruto' could clearly be seen.

"Awesome we get to watch Naruto!" Princess said happily.

Ethel nodded. She pressed play and a random commentator appeared.

"Now we're back to out non-stop Naruto marathon. That's right. Every single filler episode of Naruto non-stop." He said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Superkella and Princess screeched in pure terror.

Princess and Superkella's cries were so loud, Dan, Vomvom, Kandy Kid and Indigo could hear them.

"Oh no!" Kandy Kid said in worry "What do you think she's doing for them?"

"Think of the most evil, horrible thing you can imagine. Then…Multiply it…by 6!" Dan replied in a horror-struck tone.

"OH GOD!" Vomvom yelled as she covered her ears.

"What's wrong?" Indigo asked.

"Please make it 8! I beg you!" She said in distress.

(SOUL EATER REFERANCE FTW!)

Indigo, Vomvom, Dan and Kandy Kid were all determined to save Superkella and Princess. The came up with a plan: barge in yelling and bowl her over. Everyone was very happy with that plan, so they all set out to find Ethel's hideout. It wasn't hard to find. It was a big house in the middle of a forest. Dan knocked on the door and waited. Indigo face palmed.

"Baka! We don't need to knock!" She yelled.

"Then how do we-" Dan was cut off by Vomvom kicking the door in.

That door flew into the darkness of that home. It was gone. Everyone took their attacking positions.

"CHAAAAAARRRRGGGEEEE!" Dan bellowed as he lead them all inside.

Everyone belted around the hideout trying to find their two friends. It didn't take long to find them. The only light in the house was above them. Everyone was dumbstruck at the sight they saw. Princess and Superkella both appeared dead. Their heads were tilted back and they weren't moving.

"…Uh oh." Kandy Kid said after awhile.

Indigo, Vomvom and Kandy Kid went to help their friends but Dan paid attention to the T.V. When he saw what they were watching, he gasped and unplugged the T.V. The moment he did, Superkella and Princess gained life once again.

"Guys! When did you get here?" Princess asked.

"Just now." Kandy Kid replied.

Once Vomvom had gotten the restraints off of them, they all headed for the door. Suddenly, the French-English Combo Of Misfortune blocked their path.

"We can't let you go." Prince said in a deep manly voice.

"But you have tooooo!" Princess cried femininely as he stomped his foot.

"Everyone fight your alter egos, it'll be easier fighting a reversed you." Superkella ordered.

Everyone nodded and stood in front of the rip off of themselves.

"Ah, salutations my sugar loving associate. I'm afraid you do not have permission to continue on your quest." Broccoli Boy said to Kandy Kid.

"…huh?" Kandy Kid replied.

Dan stood in front of Stan and glared.

"You fucking shitty ass douche bag." He scolded.

"Hahaha! You have no good insults! Swearing's all you've got!" Stan chuckled.

Dan paused and attempted to understand what Stan had said.

Superkella stared at Fragalistic in disgust.

"You are obviously a moron." She observed.

"Hey! Shuddup or Ima hit you!" Fragalistic slurred.

Superkella rolled her eyes and kicked Fragalistic in the face.

Indigo Ice Cream stared at Violet sorbet. She narrowed her eyes.

"Is Broccoli Boy your brother?" She asked.

"…Yeah…" Violet Sorbet replied.

"Do you like him?"

"Oh yes. We always hang out with each other and always get along."

Indigo tried not to throw up.

Princess and Prince both glared at each other.

"Yo. I'm gonna fuck you's up!" Prince yelled.

"Yeah well…I'm gonna…hit you…" Princess said awkwardly.

Vomvom didn't bother talking to Movmov. She just dove on top of her and began beating the shit out of her. Movmov attempted to leave the situation to avoid conflicts, but it was no use. Movmov just lay there and allowed Vomvom to bash her.

Suddenly, Princess got too lazy to write any more so he ended the chapter and went to bed.


	14. The Book

It was an average day, just like any other day. Nothing particularly important was happening. Everyone had successfully saved Superkella and Princess with ease, so they were all back at home being sloth-y. Suddenly, Kandy Kid came running into the room. He was screaming and waving a pink fluffy book in the air.

"Muy's! Muy's!" He yelled.

"Kandy Kid, we can't understand you." Princess said dully.

Kandy Kid yanked the lollypop from his mouth. He then adjusted his pink and white carnival hat.

"Guys! I found this hidden under Vomvom's mattress! I can't read it, though." Kandy Kid announced as he held up a pink, fuzzy book for them all to see.

"…That looks like…" Superkella began.

"A DIARY!" Indigo cried in disbelief.

"Vomvom has a diary?" Kisame asked.

"How long have you been here?" Dan asked as he stared at the shark man.

Kisame shrugged. Everyone ignored that and continued on about the diary. Kisame stood up and without saying a word, walked off. He returned moments later with Zetsu, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, Itachi, Hidan and Kakuzu. Everyone gathered around Kandy Kid and awaited to hear what Vomvom had written. Kandy Kid opened the book ad looked at the first page.

"T…to…day…" He began as he squinted at the first word.

Superkella then took over for Kandy Kid. She held the book up and began to read to the others.

"Dear lovely dovely diary." She began loudly.

"BULLSHIT!" Hidan yelled over the top "Vomvom wouldn't write that crap!"

Superkella sighed.

"Alright FINE. I'll read it properly." She said in disappointment.

She tried to read the messy handwriting.

"To book. Today, I hit Princess in da fase. He cried and I lafd. Then he rans away and I got sad coz I was lonely. Then I went and sawd Dan. Dan swore at Vomvom, so Vomvom smash. The End."

Everyone sat in silent shock.

"That was boring." Sasori said as he got up and left.

Deidara watched his idol leave, then turned to the others.

"Y-yeah!" He agreed as he copied Sasori.

During all of this, nobody actually knew where Vomvom was. Nobody cared really. Vomvom was sitting alone in the attic, thinking. She wasn't thinking about much. Just war, blood and destruction. Nothing out of the usual. Then, her thoughts drifted onto her friends. She had thoughts of them all being brutally murdered one by one, but when she thought of Princess, she thought of pink and sunshine and flowers and rainbows and fluffy bunnies and happy dancing trees. Vomvom grabbed her head with her hands and shook her head. HIS FEMMININENESS WAS WEARING OFF ON HER! Vomvom decided that she would beat the shit out of Princess. That'll show him. She stood up and marched downstairs. She froze when she saw what everyone was doing. Superkella was standing in front of everyone reading aloud from Vomvom's 'book of words 'n shit' as she called it. Vomvom tackled Superkella and she fell towards where Indigo was sitting. Instinctively, Indigo created a wall of ice in front of her. Superkella smacked into it and slid over it, avoiding Indigo. Now Superkella was falling towards Dan. Dan instantly did his shield jutsu and unfortunately, hit everyone else in the progress. Everyone was sent flying backwards. Once they all steadied themselves, they all ran at Dan screaming death threats. Dan yelped and tried to run, but he hit his head on the roof and stopped to wince and cover his head. Everyone then got to Dan and brutally attacked him.

"YAY!" Vomvom cried in glee "Some kind of rage induced Dan obliteration!"

Vomvom then joined the scrap. Dan was beaten. Badly. Luckily, he drank his blood and healed himself every now and then or else, he'd probably be dead.

Dan stood up and immediately let off at everyone.

"FUCKING SHITTY ASSHOLE FUCKERS! STUPID DICK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKING BITCHES!" He had a sort of spasm and yelled swear words at everyone.

"…Dan, I think you- " Princess began.

"FUCK YOU!" Dan interrupted "COCK SUCKING FUCKING SHITTY DOUCHE BAG! FUCKING ASS HOLE! SHIT OF A MOTHER FUCKING STUPID DOUCHE BAG ASS HOLE FUCKING HOE!"

Dan continued doing this for several hours before he finally calmed down. Once he looked around, everyone was gone and ordering pizza. Dan pulled the forever alone face and walked away to wallow in his sheer stupidness somewhere else.


	15. Forest Adventure

It was a day, just like any other day. Nobody was doing anything unusual and nothing cool was on T.V. Suddenly, that all changed. Someone thudded on their door. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the door in shock. Nobody ever visited them. Who could it be?

"The DOOOOOORR!" Pein's voice boomed.

Kandy Kid scuttled over to the boulder and shoved it aside. Outside stood a platoon of ninja from both Konoha and The Sand Village. Standing at the front of the crowd was the English-French Combo Of Misfortune. Ethel smiled at Kandy Kid who then cowered away in a corner.

"ATTACK!" Ethel ordered as she raised her fist.

All of the outside ninja ran into their house, smashing and destroying valuable items. Kandy Kid snuck away sneakily (you don't say?). Vomvom instantly sprinted to her room and spread herself in front of the door. A short male ninja followed her and was about to attack.

"FUCK OFF!" Vomvom screamed as loud as she could into the small ninjas face.

He obeyed her and decided to take on an easier target. Vomvom glared at everyone and made sure they wouldn't get to her room. Without warning, Indigo hovered above the crowd on an ice dragon.

"FECOD to Vomvom's room! I have a plan!" She announced.

Everyone nodded and ran towards Vomvom's oh-so-precious room. Vomvom screamed and instinctively, her fist flew forwards. Superkella crumpled up into a ball and fell to the floor with her arms crossed across her stomach. Vomvom stared at her fist in disbelief.

"…Vomvom…" Superkella wheezed in pain "…Please kindly do not do that again."

Kandy Kid helped Superkella up. Now all they had to do was get into Vomvom's room.

"Hurry the fuck up!" Indigo ordered as she dodged attacks from all angles.

Superkella turned to Vomvom seriously.

"What's that!" She asked as she pointed behind Vomvom.

Vomvom whipped around.

"Where!" She demanded enthusiastically.

Superkella and the others then all snuck in and Vomvom noticed once it was too late, so she joined them. Outside, everything suddenly exploded into ice. Indigo got out with ease and joined her friends in Vomvom's room.

"I told ya I had a plan." She said happily.

Just then, a loud hissing sound echoed throughout the hideout.

"What the fuck?" Dan asked.

"Superkella and I will investimigate." Indigo said as she held up a hand to stop Dan.

Superkella and Indigo then both rode off on an ice dragon. There was a long silence.

"OH MY FUCK!" Superkella's voice yelled.

"SHITE!" Indigo's voice followed.

The ice dragon then whizzed back into the room and smashed into the wall, shattering into a million pieces. Superkella and Indigo jumped off just in time. They were both panicking.

"They, with the, and the, when, but…I…you…" Indigo stuttered as she pointed to the ice barrier.

Those who didn't know what was going on went to check. From the spot where Violet was frozen, lava was oozing out and melting the ice. She was standing atop it, glancing around, looking for her friends and for the FECOD. Everyone gulped and slinked back into the room. Superkella had gone L style and was thinking. Dan suddenly made an announcement.

"Shh." He ordered.

Dan then pointed to the window, widened his eyes and pursed his lips. Everyone got the message and quietly crept towards the window.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Violet yelled from outside.

When they heard that, everyone screamed in horror and all tried to get out at once. Everyone got stuck until Vomvom smashed around the window and made the opening bigger. They all tumbled to the floor, but had no time to waste. They all got up and ran into the forest which surrounded the hideout, all splitting in different directions. It was every man for himself. Everyone sprinted as far into the forest as they could, still screaming in horror. They could still see the hideout behind them and they all saw the French-English Combo Of Misfortune jump down and begin scouting the area for them.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Kandy kid's voice echoed throughout the trees.

All that could be heard was screams of agony and horror and the occasional sound of metal clashing or someone being hit. It was actually quite scary.

Princess, Vomvom and Kandy Kid all met each other by a big tree.

"What do we do now?" Kandy kid whispered.

Vomvom and Kandy Kid both turned to Princess and waited. Princess raised his arms.

"Hey, I don't know." He said in a very unusual way.

Vomvom narrowed her eyes.

"What do we do, Hime-Chan?" She asked again.

"Don't be asking me. Let's just chill." Princess replied lazily.

Vomvom punched Princess in the face and sent him flying backwards.

"Vomvom! What're you doing!" Kandy kid asked in horror.

Vomvom stormed over to Princess and picked him up by the scruff of the neck. She narrowed her eyes and glared at him.

"You're not Hime-Chan." She accused.

"Alright fine." Princess said.

Suddenly, smoke surrounded Princess. When it cleared, Vomvom was instead holding Butterscotch.

"Butterscotch!" Kandy kid asked in shock.

"Jinkies!" Vomvom added giddishly.

Butterscotch and Vomvom both stared at her with an 'are you serious' expression. Vomvom looked down.

"Sorry." She said bitterly.

Ignoring that, they turned to the matter at hand.

"Butterscotch, why are you on the bad side?" Vomvom asked.

"Well, dawg, it's actually the good side. Yous are being the bad fullas." Butterscotch said in a deep voice.

"Whatever. They're the enemy. Why are you helping them?" Kandy kid continued.

"It's more fun than being with you posers." Butterscotch replied.

"We're the posers?" Vomvom asked in confusion.

"Hell yeah, look at all yous struttin around tryin to be cool."

Vomvom almost killed Butterscotch right there and then.

In another part of the forest, Superkella was tramping around trying to find the others. She, unlike anyone else, was planning out a strategy in her head. Superkella stopped everything when she saw the defiant silhouette of a Giraffe-like person. Superkella's mouth drooped.

"Why? Why him? Why not Vomvom? Or Indigo? Or Kandy kid? Or Ethel?" She asked the lord.

She walked up to Dan and thudded him on the back. Instead of doing the usual thing of swearing at her. He turned to face her and just stared. A bit of drool leaked from his mouth.

"…Uhmm…Dan…?" Superkella asked.

"Yef?" Dan asked.

"Yef? What the fuck, Dan?"

"Don't infult me."

"Dan…"

"Yef."

Superkella pulled out her sword and stabbed Dan between the legs. Dan fell to the floor and died. He then got surrounded by a puff of smoke and revealed that he was actually some weird asian boy with glasses and braces. Superkella stared at him in confusion. She then shrugged her shoulders and left.

Indigo was sneaking through the forest, trying not to be heard. Suddenly, someone was behind her. She gasped and almost punched them out, but it was only Vomvom.

"Oh. Hi Vomvom." She said in relief.

"Hi Indigo!" Vomvom replied in a bubbly tone.

Indigo raised her eyebrow. She stared at Vomvom who was now beaming at her.

"…How are you, Vomvom?" She asked slowly.

"Me? Oh, I'm fantastic! How are you?" Vomvom replied.

"Vomvom, I think you love Princess." Indigo said quickly.

"Oh, Princess? Well, I don't, but everyone has their own opinion." Vomvom said sweetly.

"Vomvom, what's your catchphrase?"

"Oh, Uhmm…I'm angry! I smash!...?"

Indigo jumped on top of Vomvom and punched her in the eye.

"VOMVOM TALKES ABOUT HERSELF IN THIRD PERSON!" She yelled as she hit Vomvom again and again.

Eventually, Vomvom became covered in smoke and transformed into a girl with long silver hair. Indigo stared at her in confusion.

Dan was running through the forest in panic. Up ahead, he saw Superkella. He ran up to her.

"Superkella! Superkella!" he yelled in panic.

"Yo." Superkella said in a manly voice.

Dan skidded to a halt. Superkella struck a very tough, boyish pose.

"Whaddyo want, square?" She asked in a deep voice.

"…Square…?"

"Yeah, you got a problem with that!"

"No! No. No."

"Good."

Dan poked Superkella on the arm.

"Fuck off!"

Dan cowered in fear. He knew this wasn't Superkella. Suddenly, Dan had an idea.

"Super awesome shield jutsu!" He cried.

Dan's jutsu activated and sent Superkella flying into a tree, instantly knocking her out. She was then covered in smoke and turned into a boy with blond curly hair and scars across his face. Dan gulped when he saw him.

After several hours of sneaking around the forest, everyone made it back to the hideout. For some reason, all the enemy ninja were gone. They didn't bother to question it. Everyone was discussing who they met and how shit they were at acting.

"Who's that?" Kandy Kid asked stupidly as he pointed to the window.

Everyone looked just in time to see Ethel's red hair disappear.

"Shit just got serious." Vomvom said taken aback.


	16. The Battle

Everyone had just recovered from their forest ordeal and was still hyped about what had happened. Ethel was gathering an army. They all knew that she might actually stand a slight, miniscule, tiny chance against their group, so they decided to attempt to be more serious. Superkella forced everyone into training for several weeks until they were strong…stronger.

"We need to find Ethel's hideout again and find out who those new people are." Dan instructed.

"I agree." Superkella said.

"Me too!" Indigo added.

Group Team were all determined to have their own planning session. They were all huddled in a corner, talking about their plan.

"Here's the plan: We find Ethel. We take Ethel. Then we beat the shit out of her like there's no tomorrow." Vomvom said simply.

"Yeah, and that- that's your plan is it?" Kandy Kid asked.

"Yup."

"Well I like it, so where do we begin?"

Vomvom, Princess and Kandy Kid all planned out an elaborate scheme to capture Ethel. The older kids planned a basic idea. Their plan was to wing it and hope for the best. Once they were all set, the headed out to find Ethel. They went to her hideout first. Vomvom did the honour of kicking the door in. They all burst in screaming only to find the hideout had been abandoned.

"God damn it…" Dan said in sorrow.

"Where is they then…?" Indigo asked in confusion.

Group Team had already left. They knew where Ethel was hiding. She was in Konoha. Princess told the others. Indigo scrunched up her face and closed her eyes.

"IMPOSSIBRU!" She yelled.

"No, it's true." Princess answered calmly.

And so, everyone began their voyage to Konoha. The entire time, all Dan did was complain.

"I'm hungry…Are we there yet…I have no friends…Princess hit me…My legs hurt!"

"OH MY GOD! WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Indigo yelled.

Dan scrunched up his face.

"Impossibru!" He taunted.

Indigo shot him a dirty look and sprayed pointy shards of ice at him, causing Dan to run and duck everywhere. Everyone casually avoided Indigo's violent attacks and continued forward.

"Vomvom bored!" Vomvom yelled "Vomvom sma-"

Suddenly, Superkella cut her off.

"Vomvom! No smash! If you smash, I'll slit your throat!" She ordered.

"But Onee-Chaaaaan!" Vomvom complained.

"No, Vomvom!"

"Fine then!"

Vomvom scowled and ran ahead of everyone. Princess who was running next to her went next to Superkella.

"Thanks, Superkella." He said pleasantly "I don't know if I can handle being hit again."

Superkella smiled at him. She then pulled out her sword and threw it at Vomvom. Princess stared in shock. Superkella looked furious and Vomvom didn't even notice. The sound of metal piercing skin echoed throughout the forest. It made Indigo stop trying to kill Dan and Dan stop running to see what had happened. Superkella was still in the same position she was in when she threw the sword. Everyone stared at Vomvom. The sword was wedged in the back of her right leg. There was an eerie silence. The silence was broken by Superkella, Indigo and Kandy Kid all breaking into simultaneous laughter.

"OWNED!" Kandy Kid yelled between giggles.

Vomvom grabbed handle of the sword and pulled it out from her leg. Blood dripped from the blade and stained her pants. Vomvom's neck slowly turned to show Vomvom's face. Plastered across her face was the most furious, deadly, mortifying expression ever seen on Vomvom. Indigo, Superkella and Kandy Kid stopped laughing. Vomvom stared at them and they all stared back. Vomvom clenched her fists. She then turned to face them all properly. She grabbed either end of Superkella's sword with her hands and bent it.

"No!" Superkella yelped, but she could do nothing.

Going near Vomvom when she was this pissed was suicide. Vomvom bent the sword until it was in the shape of a pretzel. She then dropped it in front of her and smiled. Nobody could stop Vomvom. Only an idiot would approach her.

Dan, who was behind everyone, gently shoved them out of his way.

"I'll help Vomvom." He assured.

"Oh yeah? And how are you going to do that?" Princess asked doubtfully.

Dan was now heading towards Vomvom, but he stopped and faced the others.

"Princess." He chuckled "I was blessed with astoundingly good looks."

Dan winked and did some sort of crooked smile. Everyone aside from Vomvom stared at him unimpressed. Dan did what he thought was a sexy hair flip and went back towards Vomvom. Vomvom ninja kicked him between the legs with all her strength.

"Holy shit bro!" Indigo gasped.

Kandy Kid tilted his head sideways and smiled.

"…Ouch." He observed "GO VOMVOM!"

Vomvom was still fuming. Princess boldly approached her. Being Princess, Vomvom gave him a small chance. Princess walked right up to Vomvom until they were both face to face, glaring at each other.

"Vomvom, save your anger for Ethel." Princess whispered.

"VOMVOM CAN'T CONTROL HER ANGER!" Vomvom yelled in reply.

Princess handed her a small brown teddy bear. Vomvom stared at it in disgust.

"Squeeze it until your satisfied." Princess ordered.

Princess then continued forwards and the others followed. Vomvom was squeezing her teddy bear in a horrifyingly violent manner, Superkella was trying to fix her sword and Dan was shielding his crotch with his hands and waddling ducky style.

Finally, the team reached Konoha. They all marched up the path towards the vast gates.

"Hey look Dan! They made the gate tall enough for you!" Princess pointed out.

"Aww how sweet." Indigo added.

"Shut up, assholes!" Dan snapped.

Suddenly, the massive doors of Konoha slowly dragged open to reveal two guard ninja and Ethel standing in between them. Everyone's face soured.

"ETHEL YOU SKANK!" Superkella yelled.

"…WHAT?" Ethel yelled back.

"I SAID: ETHEL YOU SKANK!"

"OH!...WELL FUCK YOU!"

Everyone then walked towards the gate in slow motion while awesome music played. Ethel put a hand on her hip and stared at them all unimpressed.

"It's the enemy! Ethel-Chan, do we attack?" One of the guards asked.

"No. Let me talk to them." Ethel said as she raised her arm.

"If you say so." The guard replied.

The FECOD and Group Team all walked up to Ethel and glared at her. Ethel smirked back.

"I hope you realise that I have beaten you every time and this time is no different." She said smugly.

"Oh really?" Dan asked crudely.

Ethel nodded and flicked her hair. Dan and Ethel started arguing and while Ethel was distracted, Superkella handed her sword to Vomvom who bent it back into place, then gave it back.

"No Dan, you won't win!" Ethel argued as she stomped her foot.

"Yes I fucking will!" Dan replied angrily.

Ethel turned to face the two guards.

"Get that battle arena thing that we used in the chunin exams ready. We are going to fight." Ethel said bluntly.

"Yes ma'am." The guards said as they jumped away.

Ethel began walking down the streets of Konoha. After she had taken a few steps, she paused and turned around.

"Hurry up, you idiots." She said in irritation.

The FECOD were all confused, but they followed Ethel until they reached a large stadium with bleachers all around it and a small field in the middle. Ethel walked out onto the field and gestured for the others to follow. The French-English-Combo Of Doom stood on one side of the field and Ethel stood on the other. One of the guards walked into the middle of the field.

"Begin!" He instructed.

The guard ninja jumped into the bleachers to watch. Everyone had devised a plan (sort of) in the FECOD. They all ran at Ethel, screaming to distract her while Vomvom and Superkella tried to sneak behind her. Their plan was a huge success. Vomvom grabbed Ethel in a full nelson and Superkella held her sword to Ethels throat.

"Princess, go now!" Superkella ordered.

Princess sprinted up to Ethel and put one of his hands on either shoulder. Princesses hands started glowing blue. Ethel winces and tried to struggle, but it was no use.

"What…what the fuck…?" She asked weakly.

"Do you honestly think all I can do is melt stuff?" Princess asked "I learned a new jutsu. I'm sucking the chakara out of your body."

Ethel's eyes widened. She knew what would happen if Princess got all her chakara. She would die. Ethel began struggling more violently now and burst into tears.

"…Umm…Princess, maybe you should stop now." Superkella said awkwardly.

Princess hung his head in sorrow and lowered his hands. Ethel gasped and looked at Superkella thankfully.

"Ew, don't look at me." She said in disgust.

Dan shoved Indigo forwards, signifying it was her turn to torture Ethel. Indigo shot Dan a dirty look and strode up to Ethel. She grabbed Ethel's head, held her hand there for a second, then turned around and went back to where she was standing.

"Hey! You stupid bitch! That shit didn't even do anything!" Ethel yelled.

Indigo narrowed her eyed angrily and raised her arm. She then snapped her fingers. Suddenly, Ethel froze. From the inside. Vomvom released Ethel and watched her fall to the ground, still in the same position.

"Who's turn is it now?" Dan asked hopefully.

"Mine." Superkella said warningly.

Superkella walked up to the frozen Ethel and crouched down by her face.

"Aww, poor Ethel." She said in a babyish tone "I'll get you out of that ice."

Superkella stood up and pulled out her sword. She then began hacking at the ice in an extremely violent way. After a few hits, Superkella had broken Ethel's ice prison in one small section of her arm. Even though Ethel looked the same as she did when she was frozen, her eyes could still move and her muffled screams could still be herd. Superkella laughed and poked her tongue out at Ethel. Superkella then did her ultimate jutsu. She stood there for a second in silence while she focused her chakara. Suddenly, Superkellas sword caught on fire. Superkella lifted the sword up behind her and prepared for the final blow. Ethel was scared now. The ice started shaking and Ethel managed to break out, however her blood was still frozen but she was somehow alive due to plot convenience even though in full metal alchemist, this kills people. So, Ethel was out of the ice, but still frozen. Superkella slashed her sword around so fast, nobody could see what she had done. Suddenly, Ethel's muffled screaming began again. Everyone stared at her to see her hair was on fire.

"LOL!" Kandy Kid yelled.

"Muff oo!" Ethel yelled.

"Hey, Superkella, can I have a go now?" Kandy Kid asked.

Superkella stepped aside and allowed Kandy Kid to have his turn. Kandy Kid pulled a Candy Cane from his pocket. Suddenly, it expanded and changed shape slightly so it was a big red and white striped scythe. Kandy Kid smiled darkly.

"Kandy…kandy…kandy…kandy…" He began whispering slowly "kandy…kandy…kandy…kandy…"

Suddenly, Kandy Kid's scythes blade expanded outwards and a new blade sprouted from the other side.

"Kandy…kandy…kandy…kid!" Kandy Kid cried as he jumped in the air and bought his scythe crashing down on Ethels skull.

"KANDY KID! KANDY KID! KANDY KID! KANDY KID!" Kandy Kid yelled.

Every time he yelled 'Kandy Kid' he hit Ethel with his scythe. Eventually, Indigo stopped him.

Dan smiled.

"Alright it's my-" He began.

Before Dan could finish, Vomvom came sprinting in. She grabbed Ethel's legs and ran towards the wall, screaming like a maniac. Vomvom smashed Ethel, who was still frozen and her hair was still on fire, against the wall with all her strength. Ethel shattered into a million tiny pieces. The two guards panicked.

"Ethel-Sama!" They yelled in worry.

They FECOD all smiled and left Konoha, knowing they had done something good. However, knowing Ethel and her stupid FUCKING groupies, she will be back once Princess decides to write the next chapter.


	17. Bedtime In The Hideout

It was late at night and everyone in the French-English Combo Of Doom were sitting in the lounge watching a horror movie. They had forced Group Team to go to bed because they were worried the kiddies would have nightmares. Dan promised to protect the two girls from any 'scaries' as he called them. Superkella and Indigo both sat on the floor with their legs crossed while Dan took up the entire couch. Superkella and Indigo just stated how unrealistic the movie was and Dan was absolutely mortified.

"Dude, I've killed someone like that and that shit don't happen." Indigo said, unimpressed.

"I know right! Blood doesn't just explode out of people like that! Plus what is up with this plot!" Superkella replied.

"I don't even get it! The guy's dead, but he's alive and can still kill the guy who killed him!"

"You idiots! Maybe if you listened, you'd get it!" Dan added angrily.

Superkella and Indigo both turned to face him, frowning in doubt.

"Oh yeah, enlighten us, smart guy." Superkella said mockingly.

"Ok then I will. The dude got killed, but then his hate made a curse, so he's undead."

"And why is he killing people?" Indigo asked.

"Be-cause! He hates them!"

"but he's never met them!" Indigo replied sharply.

"What a sad fulla!" Superkella yelled.

Dan almost screamed in anger.

Suddenly, a fist came flying through the wall.

"Shut the mother fuck up or I'll bash you." Vomvom ordered.

Dan and Indigo both cowered away slightly.

"Sorry Vomvom." Dan said in fear.

"Vomvom you cunt! We're watching a fucking movie!" Superkella yelled.

"And we're trying to sleep and all we can hear is: nyeh nyeh nyeh!" Vomvom did a shitty impersonation of Superkella.

"Who the fuck says nyeh nyeh nyeh?"

"Joey."

"He's not real."

"Fuck you."

"Nice comeback."

"Nice face."

"Why thank you."

"It was sarcastic."

"Whatever floats your boat, Vomvom."

Vomvom slowly withdrew her fist and stuffed the hole in the wall with paper. Superkella smiled triumphantly. Kandy Kid's voice came from the other room, slowly getting louder and more whiney.

"Indigo! I can't sleep! Can you read me a story?"

"No! Fuck you!" Indigo shot back.

"Woah, calm down, bro." Kandy Kid replied in shock.

"Yeah, Indigo." Princess added.

"Fuck off Princess!" Dan yelled.

"Sorry." Princess replied sadly.

Pein and Konan both marched down the stairs in their Akatsuki pyjamas.

"Would you kindly be a little quieter?" Pein asked dangerously.

"Sorry, Pein…" Superkella said guiltily.

"You should be. You are going to give away our location if you keep yelling like that." Pein said in a surprisingly fatherly way "Now you should all go to bed."

"But PEIN!" Dan began.

Konan cut him off.

"Listen to your leader, Daniel." She said rudely.

"Fine." Dan huffed.

He and the others all dragged themselves to their room and lay in bed. Konan and Pein both went back to their room and tried to sleep.

"Goodnight, Pein!" Dan boomed.

"Shut up and fall asleep!"

"…Goodnight." Dan whispered.

"Dan! Shut up!" Princess yelled.

"Make me, shortie!"

"Giraffes are meant to be quiet aren't they!"

"Dwarves are meant to have beards, aren't they!"

"Both of you shut up!" Superkella cried.

"Fuck you, Superkella! It's funny!" Vomvom chipped in.

"I'll say. Princess is doing that thing he does when he gets mad, but won't hit anything!" Kandy Kid chuckled.

"Really? Aww, Vomvom can't see from the top bunk!"

"Fuck you all! I'm not a show!"

"I beg to different."

"You mean differ."

"No I didn't/"

"Kandy Kid, stop being an idiot!" Indigo yelled.

Suddenly, the sound of Pein getting out of bed came from upstairs followed by footsteps.

"Shit! Pein's coming!" Indigo whisper-yelled.

"Everyone pretend to be asleep!" Dan ordered.

Silence filled the house. Pein came downstairs and when he noticed it was quiet once again, returned to his room.

"Jeez, he nearly caught us." Vomvom said in relief.

"Shut up, un!" Deidara yelled.

"You're one to talk, bomber Barbie! You and Chucky never shut up!" Superkella shot back.

"But we talk about important things, un!"

"You are both hippies with an unhealthy obsession with art." Dan said bluntly.

"No we're not!" Sasori yelled.

"You made yourself a puppet and Deidara blew himself up when he died." Princess replied.

"…When I what?" Deidara asked in confusion.

"Nothing!" Princess replied quickly.

"Princess! You broke the fourth wall!" Dan yelled.

"What wall?" Kisame asked.  
>"He spoiled it." Indigo said.<p>

"Oh, I get it." Hidan replied.

"Ew, don't talk to me, Jashin lover."

"Fuck you."

"Can you shut up? We can't sleep." Zetsu complained.

"Tobi can't either."

"Neither can I." Itachi added.

"Or me." Kakuzu said.

"Or us, un." Deidara said.

"Or me, but I don't need to since I can't die." Hidan said smugly.

"Fuck you. Sometimes, you're a worse show off then Dan." Vomvom said angrily.

"Hey! I'm not a show off! I can't help it if I'm amazing!" Dan snapped.

"You know, I can hear you." Pein finally said "So I suggest you all shut up before I come down there."

"You're all talk, ginger!" Hidan yelled.

Pein proceeded to come downstairs and drag a screaming, protesting Hidan outside and lock him out. Pein sent a message to the others.

"Anyone who wants to join Hidan simply needs to talk." He said seriously.

Pein then took Vomvom and threw her outside as well.  
>"What was that for?" Princess asked.<p>

"She broke my wall. Now all of you go to bed and _sleep._" He ordered.

The rest of the night was peaceful and quiet. Aside from Hidan and Vomvom who both spent the entire night yelling and trying to get inside.


	18. Breakfast Of Awesomness

After last nights horror film and other horrors, the morning had finally arrived. Vomvom and Hidan were allowed back in the house as long as they promised not to break anything. Vomvom had simply slept outside however Hidan spent the entire night at Dan's window trying to make him uncomfortable. It didn't work. Everyone woke up in the morning at the same time and headed into the dining room. They all sat down at the table and yawned.

"Morning." Princess said tiredly.

"You don't say!" Dan replied sarcastically.

Princess simply grabbed the back of Dan's head and pounded his face into the table. No words were needed. After Dan had stopped crying, he turned to Superkella.

"I want pancakes." He said simply.

"Good for you." Superkella replied.

Dan stared at her for a moment, shock etched across his face.

"Go and make it for me, woman!" He ordered.

Superkella stared at him blankly. She lowered her eyebrows.

"Make it yourself, rich boy!" She scolded.

Princess jumped in to save Dan's ass.

"Dan, just because Madam Bibi is a maid and a women, that doesn't mean all women are maids." He said.

"Oooooooh!" Dan said in realisation "So you won't need me to pay you! Now then, I'd like maple syrup and jam and honey with mine and cook it in a smiley face so I'll have a good day."

Princess face palmed. Indigo jumped in.

"Make it yourself you spoiled bastard!" She yelled.

"No! You are women! Women must serve the man!" Dan protested.

Vomvom punched Dan in the back of the head, effectively knocking him out. Vomvom, Princess and Kandy Kid all stood up.

"We will make breakfast." Kandy Kid announced.

Superkella and Indigo stood up.

"No, we will make breakfast." Indigo replied stubbornly.

"Fine then, we will both make breakfast." Princess said seriously.

Both Group Team and the remaining French-English-Combo Of Doom sprinted into the kitchen and began grabbing the cooking essentials. Superkella grabbed flour, sugar, milk and pancake mix. Indigo grabbed juice, jam and bread. Vomvom grabbed cereal, a bowl and stole the milk off of Superkella. Princess grabbed muffins and a hot chocolate mix. Kandy Kid grabbed a pineapple.

"Let's begin!" Princess announced.

Nobody was quite sure how or when, but this had become a cooking contest. Superkella and Princess were the 2 head chefs. Indigo seemed good enough in the kitchen, however she was still no good. Next to Vomvom and Kandy Kid however, she was Raymond Blanc.

"Who's Raymond Blanc!" Dan asked from the other room loudly.

"Fuck off!" Princess yelled.

*Note this actually happened during the writing of this chapter*

Vomvom and Kandy Kid decided that for breakfast, they would have cereal. Cereal is a simple thing to make. You put cereal in a bowl and pour milk on it.

"Princess, you don't need to supermivise us." Kandy Kid chuckled "It's cereal!"

Princess nodded and turned his back to them to see what Indigo and Superkella were making. They were making pancakes scrambled eggs and bacon. Princess was about to tell his comrades that perhaps they should heighten their standards, but Vomvom's voice drowned his out.

"HOLY SHIT IT'S ON FIRE! DO SOMETHING!" She cried as her and Kandy Kid leapt away from the bowl.

Princess turned around and sure enough, sitting on the bench was some milk, a packet of cereal and a bowl with flames spitting from it.

"What…Did…you…_DO!"_ Princess demanded.

"W-we put the cereal in the bowl, then out the milk in and it suddendly fired." Kandy Kid said innocently.

"You idiots can't make _CEREAL! _You can't make cereal while Indigo and Superkella can make a 5 star fucking meal!" Princess yelled.

Princess needed help. From anyone. Poor Sasori just so happened to say hi to Princess at that moment. Before Sasori could do anything, he was helping Kandy Kid and Vomvom cook.

"…What…?" He asked.

"We need to beat Indigo and Superkella." Princess instructed.

Sasori turned around so he was facing Indigo and Superkella's backs. In a flash, Sasori had hit them both with poison needles.

"…Crap." Superkella said bluntly.

Superkella and Indigo both fell to the floor limply. Sasori turned to Princess. Princess had mixed emotions of hatred, fear, sorrow, anger and confusion.

"…When I said beat them… " Princess began slowly "…I meant in COOKING! I DIDN'T MEAN POISON THEM!"

"You never said anything about that." Sasori replied.

He didn't care.

"I WAS ABOUT TO BEFORE YOU TURNED AROUND AND KILLED THEM!"

"Relax, they're probably not dead." Sasori said calmly.

That calmed everyone down a bit. Sasori turned to walk away. When he was at the door, he did his puppet thing of making his head turn to face them but not his body. He was smiling very scarily.

"Or are they?" He said in a horrifying tone.

Sasori then left like nothing happened. Princess, Vomvom and Kandy Kid all turned to help Superkella and Indigo.

"Kandy Kid, pull the darts out and suck out the poison." Princess instructed.

"Sir! Yes Sir!" Kandy Kid nodded and began his task.

"Vomvom, check if they're breathing!" Princess ordered.

Vomvom nodded and felt their ribs and checked their mouths and noses.

Kandy Kid finally sucked all the poison out.

"Ugh, I don't feel good…" He moaned.

"Kandy Kid…You spat the poison out right?" Princess asked.

"Hgnmm, Nuuhhh." Kandy Kid slurred as he toppled to the floor.

"IDIOT!" Princess yelled.

Suddenly, Indigo coughed and spat onto the floor. Vomvom lifted her off the ground and began shaking her violently to wake her up and Princess began jumping on Kandy Kid, effectively making him regurgitate the poison. Dan walked in at that moment. Then the kitchen erupted into flames. Dan screamed like a girl and ran away. Princess used all his strength to drag Kandy Kid out and Vomvom carried Superkella and Indigo, one on each shoulder no sweat. They all safely made it outside. Princess coughed, then noticed a single blackberry hanging on a bush. He scuttled over to it and picked it. He held it in the air triumphantly.

"We win!" He yelled "We made the best meal!"

All the Akatsuki had evacuated the hideout and, despite their efforts, it burned to the ground. Pein turned to all the newest members.

"You…" He bean.

"Pein we can- " Dan began.

"You are all banished from Akatsuki. Now get out of my sight."

Everyone was shocked. It was even enough to wake up and cure Kandy Kid, Indigo and Superkella. They all stared at the Akatsuki members in sadness. Their life long dream had been to join the Akatsuki and now they were being banished. Tobi and Kandy Kid burst into tears. Everyone else stood there, unable to summon words. A loud crack echoed throughout the forest and Pein fell to the floor.

"Leader-Sama!" The Akatsuki cried in unison.

"Pein!" Konan gasped.

Pein was lying on the floor. One of his nose piercings was gone. They all stared at the member who was closest. Vomvom held the black rod in her hands. She threatened to snap it. A small tear escaped Peins eye.

"Okyouknowwhatyoucanstay." He blurted out.

Everyone threw a party. DAWWWW HOW SWEET.

lolwtfbbq


	19. Summer Vacation

Superkella was beaming when everyone awoke. She smiled at them all as they got their breakfast.

"There's no fucking bread!" Vomvom yelled lazily.

She rolled her neck to face Dan expectantly. Dan stared at her blankly.

"What am I supposed to do?" He asked.

"Use your Giraffe neck to reach over to a bread store and take some." Vomvom replied.

Dan glared at her. Vomvom stared at Dan, a vacant expression on her face. Dan readied his fist. Vomvom turned away from him.

"Don't bother." She moaned. "I don't want to hurt you so early in the morning."

Dan narrowed his eyes and slowly lowered his fist. Kandy Kid was having a nourishing breakfast of L'anis de Flavigny (It's a French lollie). Indigo was enjoying some fruit loops. Princess was having waffles and Dan was having pancakes. Vomvom was snatching food off of the others plates as she was too lazy to prepare her own food. She only stopped when Indigo froze her head in a block of ice as a warning. Superkella was smiling at them all as they ate.

"Why're you so happy?" Kandy Kid asked between mouthfuls of sweets.

"I've got a surprise for you all." Superkella announced.

"I love surprises!" Princess cried as he stood up.

"Finish your breakfast, vous petit cochon." Dan snarled as he grabbed Princess's shirt and forced him back down.

"Allez manger un tas de merde…" Princess mumbled.

"What did you say, fuck-head!" Dan demanded as he slammed the table with his hands.

"You heard me, l'homme girafe." Princess snorted.

Dan grabbed Princess by the scruff of the neck and lifted him off of the floor. Princess wasn't scared. Suddenly, Princess's bored expression became on of disgust.

"What is that thing on your face, Dan!" He yelled in horror.

Dan yelped and dropped Princess to cover his face.

"My godly complexion!" Dan squealed.

Dan pulled out his pocket mirror (yes, he actually owns one) and examined his face from all angles. He snapped it shut and looked down at Princess furiously.

"You liar." He snarled.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Indigo chanted.

Dan and Princess both glanced up at the others who were on the edge of their seats, watching eagerly.

"Hey, we don't fight for your entertainment!" Princess growled.

"We know that, but it's still entertaining." Kandy Kid giggled.

Princess and Dan both stopped bickering just to disappoint the others.

Once everyone had eaten, Superkella jumped onto the table to make an announcement.

"I have arranged…for all of us…TO GO TO DAN'S SUMMER HOME!" Superkella cried.

Everyone aside from Dan cheered and clapped. Dan stood up and shoved Superkella off of the table.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! I am not having any of you ruin my summer home!" He announced.

"Aww, Daaaaaaaaan." Everyone whined.

"No! It's mine!" Dan said huffily.

"Daniel Chevalier! We took you in when you were in need of assistance! We helped you! Looked after you and made you evil and _this _is our thanks! At least Princess is a little grateful!" Indigo yelled.

Princess smirked and gave Dan a cocky look. Dan clenched his teeth and tightened his lips, but said nothing.

"You are NOT going to my summer home and that's final." Dan said professionally.

There was a long silence.

"The address is 17 Avenue Paul Appell!" Princess yelled loudly.

Fear etched across Dan's face. He slowly turned to face Princess.

"You evil son of a- " He began.

"Vous aimez bites, Dan!" Princess said pleasantly as he and Team Akuma ran out the door.

Dan quickly followed them. Everyone was laughing except for Dan. Superkella had a map in her hands and was directing everyone on where to go.

"There should be a road soon! Turn left and go that way!" She yelled to the others.

Dan made some sort of grunting sound as he desperately tried to catch up with the others. Everyone reached the road and made a sharp turn.

"It's the third house on the left!" Superkella cried.

Everyone stopped outside Dan's house. There was a big fence around it and you needed a code to open it. Dan smiled.

"Have fun trying to break in. It's the best security network around." He scoffed.

Princess slowly stepped forward. He looked at the pin machine and put his finger just above it. He slid his finger up the wall and pulled a piece of paper from behind it. Dan's jaw dropped. Princess unfolded the paper and read it aloud.

"Password: 6926. Key is under mat and pin number for house is: 5942."

Dan was in shock that Princess had found his code paper. He had hidden it so well! Princess entered the code and unlocked the house. Dan didn't bother to stop them. He just said goodbye to his perfect house.

Everyone ran off 'exploring' Dan's house.

"I found his car's!" Indigo yelled.

The sound of a car engine starting echoed through the house. There was a loud smashing sound and a car horn going off.

"Oh shit!...Sorry, Dan!" Indigo yelled.

"Cool! You've got Mortal Kombat 5!" Vomvom yelled as she ransacked Dan's room.

"Oh my god! A hot tub!" Superkella yelled. "CANNONBALL!"

"Where's the Kandy!"

"GRAAAAHHH! VOMVOM GOT BEATEN BY SUB-ZERO! VOMVOM SMASH!"

"No, Vomvom! Not the TV- Awww…Vomvom…" Superkella said in disappointment.

"Daaaaaan! I'm borrowing this forever! Kay thanks!" Indigo yelled.

"Dan! I found your wallet!"

"Dan, someone broke the TV. Vomvom didn't do it, though."

"Dan! Your hot tub's broken!"

"Dan, your car's crashed!"

"Dan you're out of Kandy!"

"Dan, your plushies are ripped!"

"Dan, your clothes are on fire!"

Everyone's voices echoed in Dan's head. Dan could take no more of their psychotic behavior.

"GEEEEEETT OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTT!" Dan yelled louder than he had yelled anything.

"…Is now a bad time to say we want this to be our new hideout?" Superkella asked.

"YES! IT FUCKING IS! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Dan screamed.

All of Team Akuma came into the room and stared at Dan. Simultaneously, they all fell on the floor and began rolling around.

"Ow! Stop hitting me, Dan! Ow! Ow!" Superkella wimpered.

"Dan! Why are you-ow! Stop it, Dan!" Indigo wept.

"Ah! Dan, that hurts! Dan let me go! Dan! OW! MY ARM! OWWW!" Vomvom cried.

Kandy Kid just made loud crying sounds.

"What are you doing!" Dan demanded. "Be quiet!"

"Dan! Let me go! DAN! STOP IT! AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Superkella screeched.

Team Akuma continued doing this until ANBU members showed up. Dan tried to convince them he wasn't hurting anyone, but all of Team Akuma and Princess said otherwise. Dan was arrested and thrown in Konoha prison.

Everyone came to visit Dan in jail. Superkella held his wallet in her hands.

"There's enough money to get you out of prison here." She said tauntingly.

"Let me out!" Dan yelled.

"Sign this, then we'll talk." Indigo said seriously as she slipped a contract and pen through the bars.

"What's this?" Dan asked.

"It's the rights to your home and contents." Vomvom said darkly.

"No! Not my-" Dan began.

"That's too bad." Superkella said as she stared at Dan's wallet.

She and the others all turned to leave.

"Wait!" Dan yelled.

Dan reluctantly signed the contract. Everyone smiled and made sure to look after it. Princess pulled the door open.

"We killed the ANBU members ages ago and unlocked the door. We knew you wouldn't notice." He chuckled.

Dan instantly burst into tears.

"New hideout! New hideout! New hideout!" Everyone chanted.


	20. The Kidnapping

Vomvom and Kandy Kid were both suddenly awoken at 2am by the sound of smashing glass and Princess's muffled screaming. Kandy Kid jolted upright and looked around, squinting in an attempt to see in the dark. Vomvom mumbled some very bad words and tried to fall asleep again. Suddenly, Kandy Kid began to scream as well although his yells were quickly muffled.

"Oh my god! WHAT is so horrible!? Did you see a spider or some shit?" Vomvom growled as she leaned over from her bunk. Vomvom then saw why Princess and Kandy Kid had screamed. Below her bunk were two men in black jumpsuits. One of the men had Princess slung over one shoulder and a bottle of chloroform in his hand while the other was holding a rag up to Kandy Kid's face. Kandy Kid passed out and the man slung him over his shoulder. Vomvom sat upright and prepared to beat the shit out of them. The man holding Princess carelessly dropped his delicate body onto the cold, hard floor and began to approach Vomvom's bed cautiously. Vomvom narrowed her eyes and balled her fists. The man reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small metal straw. He held the straw up to his mouth and blew into it. A dart flew out of the dart and hit Vomvom in the middle of her forehead. Vomvom yanked the dart out and threw it back at the man, aiming for his eye. The man dodged and glared at her.

"The normal tranquilisers aren't strong enough. Get the gorilla tranks." He said to the other man.

The man nodded and pulled out a large syringe. Vomvom stared at them both dangerously. Suddenly, one of the men threw Kandy Kid at her. Vomvom shoved his limp body away and while she was distracted, the man injected her. Vomvom punched him in the face but the damage was done. Vomvom gritted her teeth and held up her fists.

"Vomvom…! Angry… Vomvom... Sma…" Vomvom gradually trailed off and fell face first off of the bed.

The two men gathered up the members of Group Team and escaped through the broken window they had entered through.

The next morning Superkella woke up bright and early at 11:00. She yawned and stretched her arms out. Suddenly, she stopped. It was too quiet. Usually at least Kandy Kid was awake by now. Superkella furrowed her eyebrows and decided to check on Group Team. She pushed the door open and was faced with a horrible scene. The room was a mess and a window was broken not to mention there was blood all over the floor. This was how their room usually looked so Superkella ignored it and continued searching for Group Team. She ventured all over the hideout and in the forest surrounding it but the three idiots were nowhere to be seen. Superkella decided to alert Indigo and Dan of the not-so tragic news.

"Indigo! Indigo! Indigo! Indigo! Indigo!" Superkella cried as she ran down the hall to her best friend's room.

"Whaaaatt?" Indigo droned.

"Group Team is missing!"

"Oh. Cool."

Superkella rolled her eyes. She decided not to bother with Indigo. She headed to Dan's room.

"Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!" She cried as she ran up the stairs to his fancy door.

Superkella kicked the door in and charged inside. Dan was checking himself out in the mirror and squealed loudly when Superkella entered unannounced.

"WHAT!?" He growled.

"Group Team is missing!" She said.

"So?"

"So that means that you have less members for your group thus meaning that Ethel has technically beaten us on that front." Superkella said as she pushed invisible glasses up her nose.

Dan turned to face her seriously. "What?" He whispered. "WE MUST RESCUE THEM!"

"Oh… now? I just wanted to tell you… let's save them later…" Superkella said lazily.

"…Very well."

So Superkella, Dan and Indigo continued with their day as normal until they felt like rescuing Group Team.

**Meanwhile, thousands of metres away…**

Princess awoke abruptly and began screaming. That quickly woke up Kandy Kid and Vomvom and they all sat up. They were in three separate cages in a triangle shape in a dark room lit by a few torches. There was a silence among the three for a few seconds. Then Kandy Kid burst into tears. Princess looked around in confusion. Vomvom yawned and lay down on the stone floor again. Princess crossed his legs and tried to think of an escape plan. At that moment, a door at the far end of the room opened allowing light to stream in. Vomvom was hit by the full force of the light and hissed loudly. The door closed once again and three people approached them. In the middle stood a woman with blond hair and a green coat on. On either side of her stood an ANBU member.

"These are the three criminals?" She asked as she cocked an eyebrow and stared at the three children.

Vomvom hissed at the woman and backed as far away from her as possible.

"Yes Hokage-Samma. These are three of the members of the French-English-Combo-Of-Doom, as they call themselves." One of the ANBU members replied.

"Um, no. We are Group Team." Princess corrected.

Tsunade squatted down so she was at eye level with the three of them.

"I think that with some rehabilitation, we can still make these kids normal members of society." She said as she smiled at Group Team.

"Fuck you, whore!" Vomvom snapped.

Tsunade shot Vomvom an appalled look before she stood upright again. "Get someone who can make them _normal." _Tsunade ordered as she stared down at Vomvom.

"Hey! Miss blond lady!" Kandy Kid said as he raised his hand.

"Yes?" Tsunade replied.

"Can I have some Kandy?"

"…No."

At that, Tsunade left. Group Team all sat there and thought about what had happened.

"So…" Vomvom began. "…What's gonna happen to us?"

"They're going to try and teach us how to be good." Princess replied in disgust.

"WHAT!?" Vomvom and Kandy Kid asked in unison.

"You heard me." Princess replied.

All of Group Team scoffed. There was no way someone could make them good. Ever.

After being left alone in their cages for 20 minutes, three men entered the room. Two ANBU members and a man with a white coat and glasses. He smiled at the three of them.

"Hello there." He said kindly. "My name is Doctor Fyuuja."

"…I'm going to call you Doctor Fucker." Vomvom replied happily.

Doctor Fyuuja raised his eyebrows at Vomvom and wrote something down on his clipboard.

"I'm here to help you guys. Don't think of me as your enemy. I'm a friend." He assured.

"Then ditch the guards." Princess ordered.

Doctor Fyuuja reluctantly told the guards to leave. He then sat down on a chair in front of the three kids.

"I'm going to take you away one by one and you're going to talk to me. It's not a test or anything so don't worry." He said. "However, what about you tell me your names first?"

Doctor Fyuuja turned to Kandy Kid. "What's your name?"

"My name is Kandy Kid." He replied as he scratched his head stupidly.

Doctor Fyuuja then turned to Princess. "And yours?"

"Joseph Chevalier." Princess replied formally. "And that is my wife, Vomvom."

Vomvom scowled and crossed her arms when she heard the word 'wife'. Doctor Fyuuja looked reasonably shocked when he heard that the two 14 year olds were married. Vomvom glared at him.

"…I was drunk." She protested.

That didn't help the situation at all. Doctor Fyuuja scribbled something else down on his clipboard.

**Meanwhile, thousands of metres away…**

Superkella, Dan and Indigo were all watching TV and eating dinner.

"Aren't we forgetting something?" Indigo asked.

"Yeah…" Dan replied. "Something important…"

The three of them thought for a few moments.

"Oh! I remember!" Superkella said as she snapped her fingers. "The All Blacks are playing France tonight."

"Oh yeah!" Indigo said.

"That's right!" Dan added.

The three of them relaxed now that they were sure they weren't forgetting anything.


	21. Princess' Therapy Session

Doctor Fyuuja stared down at the three children with a fake smile plastered across his face. Group Team glared at him in response. Doctor Fyuuja turned to Princess.

"How about we start with you, Joseph?" He suggested.

"How about no." Princess replied as he folded his arms huffily.

"He prefers to be called Princess." Vomvom whispered.

"No I don't!" Princess snapped.

"He's just embarrassed. He loves the name Princess!" Kandy Kid protested.

"NO I DON'T!"

"He's lying Doctor Fucker!" Vomvom cried. "Call him Princess!"

"I think I will call him his real name." Doctor Fyuuja said as he wrote something else down.

"What are you writing?" Kandy Kid asked idiotically.

"…A story." Doctor Fyuuja replied as he smiled.

"What's it about?" Kandy Kid pressed.

"It's about three naughty kids."

"What're their names?"

"For fuck sake Kandy! It's notes on us!" Vomvom cried in irritation.

Kandy Kid stared straight ahead serenely. Doctor Fyuuja pulled a small silver key from his pocket and unlocked Princess' cage.

"RUN, PRINCESS!" Kandy Kid cried.

"NO! FREE US, THEN RUN!" Vomvom added.

Princess desperately tried to run away but was quickly caught by Doctor Fyuuja.

"Now, now. There's no need to run. I don't bite." He assured kindly as he held Princess' wrist tightly.

Vomvom sighed in disappointment. Doctor Fyuuja dragged Princess to the right-hand side of the room and pulled a door open. He took Princess inside and closed the door behind him. He locked the door and put the key in his pocket. The room had a large window opposite the door with a potted plant to the left of it. On the right, there was a desk with a wheelie-chair behind it and in front of the desk was one of those therapy chairs. The walls were light yellow and had some framed pictures of scenery on them. Doctor Fyuuja sat Princess down on the bed and took his seat behind his desk.

"So, Joseph…" Doctor Fyuuja began. "Do you have any parents?"

"Well duh. How the hell else would I be alive?" Princess rolled his eyes.

"Well where are they?"

"Oh, they're dead."

"Then you _don't _have any parents." The Doctor said as he scribbled something down. "Who looks after you?"

"Umm… is myself an answer?"

Doctor Fyuuja didn't respond. He just wrote something else down. He was obviously becoming more and more concerned by the second.

"Tell me Joseph." He began kindly. "Do you know what the law is?"

"…Yeah…"

"And you know why we have laws, right?"

"Yeah."

"So why don't you follow the law?"

"It's more fun if you don't." Princess shrugged.

Doctor Fyuuja exhaled through his nose loudly and cleared his throat. He was clearly unimpressed. He dove into a long, boring lecture about the law and about why you should follow it. Princess found it hard to focus so that he could point out flaws in Doctor Fyuuja's reasoning because Vomvom and Kandy Kid could clearly be heard from the other room. They were singing. Loudly.

When Doctor Fyuuja finished, Princess nodded as if he had been listening. Doctor Fyuuja smiled and nodded. He wrote something else down. Princess went to get up, thinking they were done only to be stopped by Doctor Fyuuja and sat down again.

"Now, Joseph. I want you to tell me about your wife." Doctor Fyuuja said sweetly.

"Umm… why?"

"It's my job to know these things."

"Umm… She's called Vomvom… and… umm… She calls me Princess… and… I think she thinks I'm gay…" Princess said as he thought. "…I'm not really gay… Can you get her to believe that?... So she won't call me Princess…" Princess asked hopefully.

"I could." Doctor Fyuuja said. "Or you could just embrace it."  
>"Embrace it!?" Princess demanded, slightly offended.<p>

"Yes. Embrace that you are the gay friend. It has its perks." The Doctor replied, his eyes distant.

Princess instantly knew he had made Doctor Fyuuja remember something which meant a LONG flashback.

"…What perks?" Princess asked, still mad but slightly interested.

"You get invited to sleepovers… and she'll tell you about her problems… and you'll go shopping together…" Doctor Fyuuja said quietly as he stared at the roof.

Princess knew that none of this would happen with Vomvom but he wasn't about to interrupt Doctor Fyuuja in case he said something beneficial.

"Plus you'd be ahead of almost every other guy…" The Doctor said.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what's better that the friend-zone?" Doctor Fyuuja asked, facing Princess.

Princess shook his head slowly. He waited for an answer like 'the husband-zone' or 'the guy-she-always-bashes-zone' so that he would be above Kandy Kid on the best-buddy-scale.

"The sister-zone."

"SISTER-ZONE!?" Princess cried in an outrage. "LOOK, BUDDY! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU THINK I AM BUT I AM _NOBODY'S _SISTER!"

"You're Dan's sister!" Kandy Kid cried from the other room.

"SHUT UP!" Princess yelled at the door.

Doctor Fyuuja smirked at Princess. He scribbled something down and smiled widely. His smile was so fake, Princess almost gagged.

Doctor Fyuuja then took the fuming Princess back outside and put him into his cage. Vomvom smiled evilly at him.

"What?" Princess said rudely.

"Welcome to the sister-zone." Vomvom said crudely. "Members of the sister-zone: 1."

"What about Superkella?" Princess asked smugly, showing off how smart he was.

"No. She's not in the sister-zone. She's in the leader-zone." Vomvom corrected. "You are the only person in the sister-zone. You know why? Doctor Fucker invented it just now. Just for you, Princess."

Princess had never been so angry in his entire life. He was now officially apart of Vomvom's sister-zone.


End file.
